Thank You!

Two simple words that just about say it all. Of course, there are situations where a handwritten note and a gift are the only way to say it. And, there are the people who take the politeness to whole new level and then, there are the clods who could stand to say it a little more often.

When money is spent on you because an invitation was extended to do so, only a handwritten note will do. Talking about weddings, showers, birthday parties, graduations and the rest. You certainly are not thinking about the gift you'll receive (OK, you might be just a bit); you just want to share that special day...Then there are the gifts you'll receive because you hosted a great party. And, there are the ones like Christmas and your birthday (No party attached). Plus the gifts you get in the course of your chosen career.

Yes, when you get an invitation your obligation is to comply. You should expect a very nice note purchased with care with either gushing response or something that was scribbled down because it was the sender's chore that had to get done. Perfectly acceptable in both cases if done in a timely manner. My personal preference for timely is within three months of the event if it was attended by more than 150 people......150 down to 50 should be thanked in 60 days. Less than 50 within the month. For those who did not attend but, sent a gift deserve the same respect............There are so many beautiful Thank You note options. They range from from elegant to creative and, I so enjoy the ones I've seen through the years and have a hard time trashing them. I love a picture of the happy couple whose wedding I just attended, the delighted parents with the red faced newborn who will use something I gave them and, the beaming Graduate to whom I recently sent a check.

I am much more lax on a birthday or Christmas gift. I think a BD gift deserves a handwritten when everyone was alerted to this day and came to your party. Those who choose not to come to said party will probably send a cute card. Email them, text them, call them or, post on Facebook that their thought was appreciated.........Christmas is the season of giving and I don't find it necessary to send a note for every thing you receive however, something valued over $100 sent by someone who is not family or a close friend warrants a piece of card stock. Do thank them any way you can.

Every party you are invited to by friends, or business associates should be verbally thanked and, if you couldn't make it, think phone or Internet. All said, this brings me to host/hostess gifts. You should take them and your dish to share counts. The Hosts, in turn, should not be presented with a token so elaborate that it requires a pen to paper.

The above situations are the ones that are imperative you respond with gratitude. Failure to do so reflects badly on your Mom and the way you were brought up. But, you can also make Mom and yourself look like total clods when you don't speak these two simple words. Fortunately, 99% of everyone I know is gracious and, yes, there are those who take it to extremes. Just remember the next time someone takes care of something for you that would have disrupted your life for a week, family included or, just remembered your birthday with a card. It is totally unacceptable not to say "Thank You" in any way you can.

Aging Parents

Hey Baby boomers....You've heard about it. You remember your own parents taking care of Grandma/Grandpa, kind of felt their pain and moved on because your life was all about you. Now your life is consumed by your aging parents. Of course, you are so lucky to have them. Lost my Dad when he was just 67 after a month prior of him playing golf. Have to say that he took the best way out.

Maybe we should have consulted greater powers, given him some life-sustaining drugs, put him through the torture of Chemo but, before we could do it, God had a better plan and my, how he was blessed. My Dad never wore an adult diaper, his children and grandchildren only briefly saw him sick, he was never a burden and we all were heartbroken when he died.

Today we have better options, we can sustain life in so many ways. We can watch our parents stay alive in vegetative state, life prolonged by so many options and watch them loose their dignity and always remember them by how it was at the end. I personally think I will find the means to keep myself from getting to this position.

I certainly don't fear growing old, I fear being old. My Mom, although a bit daffy now and talks too much about every one's ailments continues to learn, do and enjoy life at 75. Her friends and so many of my relatives do the same. Of course, they have been so blessed and not faced a debilitating illness. But, there are OLD people out there who have totally given up on life and somehow enjoy being a burden to their families and will out live my Mom et al I am sure.

Goes to show that only THE GOOD DIE YOUNG.....

Valentine's Day

It's almost that special day again. You know the one that started to promote itself the day after Christmas. Sure we've had Martin Luther King Jr. day since then but, on that day you are not required to decorate or buy presents.

Don't get me wrong, I am not necessarily a Valentine's Day hater. I have so many fond memories of the carefully selected "little" cards that I exchanged with my classmates in elementary school, my first flowers or a box of candy from a special person. As I grew up and married and had children, Valentine's day always consisted of a card, candy, flowers and then it grew to be more.

Today is seems as, if we are lucky, have just paid off the Christmas expense and we are expected to adorn our homes and come up with romantic things which involve spending a lot of money. It is time again to show everyone again how much you love them.

From the TV commercials to the endless ads promoting jewelry and other gifts to show your undying love......you are expected to perform on Valentine's Day. Talk shows and even the news are chocked full of tips to on how not to screw up this special day.

Valentines Day is named after one or more Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints of 1969 by Pope Paul VI, but its religious observance is still permitted. It was specifically started as an observance to shower an intimate other with flowers, confections and eventually cards of expressions of love. I wonder what those early Romans would think of the many other ways we've learned to honor this day.

I deeply love and, I guess not romantic. I can certainly appreciate why this day is such a joy for most. I just can't understand the commercialization and expectations of Valentine's Day when you should spend each day showing those you love how much you love them. V-Day just seems like a make-up day.