Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Telephone

For my entire life I have had the privilege to live in a home with a telephone. I even came along after the party line stage. I did know people who had them. My first memory of the phone was when it rang in the middle of the night when I was four years old, the house lit up and could hear my Mother crying. My grandfather had just died. I suppose there is not a one of us that does not experience a shiver of fear when the telephone brings them out of sleep.

Through my childhood all I remember about that ugly thing with a dial were calls from distant relatives, 30 miles away, the long distance charges I was warned of as my prompt to speak quickly. At this time I recall my Mother for what seemed like hours gabbing with her girlfriends.

I think I was about ten years old when my indifference to the telephone changed. I had my own girlfriends to chat with, and the instruments became sleeker. It became a badge of honor to brag about how long you had talked on the phone. As I entered my teen aged years the ultimate was to have a pink princess phone in your bedroom and to have your own number. You would have a place in the phone book under your parent's name that said "Children's Phone". Never had this but was in total awe of my friends who did. Then came the phenom that would last for years. Calls from boys. I remember the thrill of hearing the voice of your crush and being embarrassed that my entire family witnessed this as there was one phone in the house in the main room.

The ensuing invention of the long cord was a life saver. I could go into a closet, blush and giggle with the boys and have private conversations and, again, giggle with the girls. Next came the "Please Ring"! stage. That's the one where you hope that the next time the phone rings it will be that special someone you couldn't get off your mind. From there the calls were regular from a first or enduring love and all the ones in between where you couldn't bear to hang up.

I then became an adult and the telephone was used for quick chats with family and friends to say hello or plan a meeting. There were job related calls and calls to service providers. Before there was ever a status of Adult ADD, I think I must have had it when it came to the telephone. With the advent of the cordless, I could dust, wash windows but, I am proud to say that I have never been in a bathroom with a phone unless I was cleaning it. I became too busy to sit down and chat. Figured out too, that I would rather see the person than talk to them on the phone. If I couldn't see the face, I would be distracted.

In 1990 I got something that made up for my lack of princess phone or private number. I got a five pound bag phone in my car that hooked up to the cigarette lighter. It was amazing, but I never used it for anything except emergencies. When it got to the point that it was no big deal, what we know as a cell phone debuted. I then lusted over this tiny thing that I could put in my purse and when I got one I still only used it for necessities and never for lengthy conversations. I had to pay additional money for this privilege and resorted to my landline, as I still do for a long conversation, to me, longer than ten minutes.

I don't enjoy having a piece of equipment rest on my face and I really don't enjoy telemarketers. Bless their hearts, know that they are just trying to make a living but the invasion of them fifteen or so years ago has driven me crazy. They called at the worst possible times. Today we have caller ID and can choose to pull a Jerry Seinfeld and play with them. "I'm busy now, give me your home phone number and I'll call you back". Or, we can ignore them completely.

Now I am over the half a century mark. We have a cordless landline and I have a cell phone that fits in my wallet. I can take a picture with it and play Ms.Pac Man, get an acurate time of day and have cool ringtones. I'm now a dinosaur as I don't text, my phone does not allow me to search the internet, give me driving directions, allow me to do my banking or find out the menu of a restaurant before I walk in. I am so tempted but I think I am at my peak with the telephone.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Mail

When was the last time you wrote a letter? The one where you use a pen, paper and a stamp? A letter to tell friends and family about the kids or how hot it is? I am sure I am one of the last to give this up. I am the one who continues to write a Christmas letter to tell about our last year when, now because of Face Book all the people I once sent them too, pretty much know everything I'm doing. It has been well over a decade that that I took a pen and literally wrote a message on a Christmas card.

I love the handwritten messages I get on a Christmas card. I, too love the the pictures of your family and the thought it took to create a computer generated letter. In the past 15 years with my computer I have created some great things and left the handwritting behind. When my best grades were for my penmanship.

I think of my special box in the attic with love letters from my Husband, notes from my Nana and the first card my Dad ever sent me.

I think of the letters written to and saved of my late Mother-In-Law and Grandmother. It is amazing to me that 75 years ago you could write a person's name on a envelope, street address and a city and it would get to them.

I think of the women whose husbands went off to war and their only communication with them was the letter. I thank God that our war brides can now talk to their spouses each day through phone, texting or skype.

I treasure the handwritten notes and hope that they don't become a lost art. If any of my loved ones lived far away I would be thankful to hear their voice, read their words and see their face. In my life time, it cost extra to make a phone call to someone 30 miles away. A letter sent hundreds of miles might have taken two weeks to get there.

I hope that the literal written word will never die, but so happy about all the options I have to stay in touch.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Our New Home

Eighteen years ago today we moved into our then brand new, current home. It was our eighth residence in almost fifteen years of marriage. The moves included college to an apartment to a new home. Going to grad school to an apartment. Graduating grad school to another apartment to another new home. Career transfer to another new home to a bigger home in the same city. A year later another transfer back to the place we grew up, where our families were and another new home.

Really wasn't sure if this one was going to take, but the chances looked good that we would stay for a while. Although this new home was grander (brick and land), minutes away from our parents when the drive before was four hours, the layout would never be like home #7. When we purchased that home we weren't looking for a new place to live but wandered in one day as we continued to do every weekend for the next six months. The builder went bankrupt after completion and was forced to sell it. The agent got to know us and finally convinced us to make an offer, ridiculously low and it was accepted.

The thing about this house that intrigued us was first, a great eclectic neighborhood and there were good schools. It was 3000 sq ft., four bedrooms, bonus room, two car garage, two staircases, a kitchen/family room, walk up attic, plus a sun room that was octagonal surrounded by a wrap around deck. This room also had sliding glass doors so we could enjoy it in winter and have a screened in porch in summer. We lived there for only eighteen months.

Our next and current home lacked the porch and the extra staircase but had everything else, plus more quality construction. We were moving back to our home town to a side of it that we had never known. We were told the elementary schools were good, we both had heard of the middle and HS's but never knew anyone who went there. The location was convenient to my husband's work. Our parents were beyond thrilled to have their two grandchildren within reach.

So on July 22, 1992 we came home with our four and six year old's. Today this house has so many memories both amazing and tragic. I have lived in this home longer than any one in my lifetime. My parent's house was purchased in 1968, so I lived there less than ten years and that was my home. Kind of grew up today as I realized this is my home.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Elder Care

As the primary care giver to my 89 year old Father-In-Law, the one who takes him to the doctor. I accept my responsibility and do it to the best of my ability.......My problem is that he is 89, with his walker proceeds at a snail's pace partly due to his age and because he continues to flirt with any woman under 90 along the way. His big line now is when he sees a woman with dimples he tells them "You were kissed by an angel." Sounds cute, I know but after you've heard it a million times, you want to scream.

He also loves a 30 something female drug rep as most of them are quite attractive. I have to be on guard here as he may go from being cute to a dirty old man. I've learned a great eye roll to put them at ease. If the women don't respond in a manner acceptable to him he goes for for babies and small children most who cry and hide behind their mother's legs. Again, I use my eye roll to relieve the tension.

In must admit that taking him to the DR makes me feel really young as in the time it takes him to get from point A to point B, I've gotten him out of the car, put the walker in front of him and led him in the direction to the door. I park the car sometimes many yards away and catch up with him by the time he reaches the elevator just feet from where I let him off. This is on a good day. On others there are other cars and assisted living buses in front of me all vying for the three feet of space that you can safely maneuver a walker over.

I a perfect world a geriatric practice would have a drive through, you let your elderly charge out to immediately be whisked away to the proper location while you park the car. Also, if your elder has no health issues he would be required a yearly visit, not every four to six months with a separate visit for lab work prior. Other than this primary care there are the specialists in between such as the one who cuts his toenails.

All too much for an 89 year old man who has a chlorestrol level as someone a quarter of his age.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Furnitureland South

It has been five years now that a position I held and loved was eliminated due to the failing economy, of course, we never imagined that it would become much worse. My Husband's co-worker was married to woman who worked at Furnitureland South and told him of the success she had there. A position became available and I reluctantly applied for it. The thought of working weekends and evenings was something I had no desire to do. But, we had a Son in college and a Daughter on her way there so I needed employment and went on the interview. Within a half hour of my first meeting with FLS Management I became captivated with the place and came to realize that the nights and weekends might not be that bad. OK, I would take the job. Not that easy, I was faced with another month and a half of grueling interviews with the Harris Family and upper management. After all this, I impressed them enough to be rewarded with the position of "Sales and Design Consultant".

For the next three years I made friends I will have for the rest of my life. Learned so much about furniture and design. It became a passion. Other than the wonderful people I spent about 50 hours a week with, I had the opportunity to meet and work with people whose lives were so completely different than mine. There were the ones from other countries whose customs and bartering drove me a bit crazy.

I learned that the wealthy from the Middle East create bedrooms for their daughters
with the idea that this is a room for a princess. Their furniture tastes tended to lean towards opulent and ornate. I learned that some people had no idea what they wanted in their homes or what their tastes were and relied on me to lead them in the right direction, these were the ones I so enjoyed until they brought in friends and family who knew as little as they did to offer ideas.

Then there were the ones who knew exactly what they wanted, tasteful or not. They would sit on every sofa to which there were hundreds to find the one where their backs, feet and necks were in the spots they deemed appropriate. They were also the ones who would look through hundreds of fabrics to find the colors they envisioned. So many times these choices were never found. However, I realized that these were huge investments and I patiently complied.

Of course, the all time favorite customers were the ones with padded wallets and only took a few hours to completely furnish a home.

After building such bonds with all those mentioned you then faced the worry of "Will it all be OK"? "Did you order it right"? "Is everything in stock and will it be delivered in the time you promised"? "Will the delivery go smoothly"? A happy day was when it all was in and everyone was thrilled. A really bad day was when something went wrong and you disappointed a client. I was lucky that through the errors, most of the time I made it right. I never wanted any of my clients to be angry. I took some amazing hits to my paycheck as I would never call a customer to tell them I screwed up. One such instance was selling leather furniture to dear friends and quoting them a fabric price. I go into their home now and see this furniture and know that I contributed about $600 to their sofas. My secret.

I loved visiting the Furniture Market and the showrooms of some of the most fabulous furniture you could ever hope to see. I went to "Home Shows" decorated in FLS's finest in some of the grandest houses I had ever seen.

I had the opportunity to go into my clients homes and help them put it all together, and design and furnish vacation condos. What fulfilling and wonderful times.

Alas, all good things come to an end. First, a real "homebody". My position was taking me away from family and my home. Second, after years of running and the bad feet left to me by my grandmother, walking the entirety of FLS in dress shoes was taking its toll. Third, no matter how much I networked, the economy was on the decline and my biggest fear was to lose a special part of my life involuntarily. So I left.

Through Facebook I now have access to all the extraordinary friends I made through my tenure and continue to see how FLS grows and defies odds. So proud to have been a part of it.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My Life With Mel

Almost twenty five years ago I was very pregnant came home from work early, flopped on the couch and grabbed the remote. Was there a remote then? Anyway, I do know that we had HBO because that's where I caught the movie "Tim" and saw Mel Gibson for the first time.

I had read somewhere that it was based on a book by Colleen McCullough who also had written "Thorn Birds". As a matter of fact the child I was about to give birth to was going to be named Megan if a girl. A variation of the name I first heard when when I read the book for the first time and later saw the mini-series. It is hard to believe that just twenty-five years ago, I was about to give birth and did not know the baby's sex.

Anyway, "Thorn Birds" had one of the most passionate love scenes I had ever seen, years later it would be eclipsed by Jack and Rose in "Titanic". Those are my top one and two. Number three would have to be Mel Gibson and Piper Laurie in "Tim". The movie was incredible through exceptional supporting parts and this breathtakingly handsome man I first saw that day.

I had a crush on Mel. Later I sat through the "Mad Max" franchise, "Brave Heart", "The Patriot", et al just to see him. Fell in love again though "Lethal Weapon". I can honestly say I have seen 90% of every movie he ever made.

I loved him too because he was my age, married to a woman named Robyn, a variation of my name, happy and had lots of kids. I forgave him for his DUI's and tirades. It all changed a couple of years ago when he and his wife split. He went on to find a new love and father yet, another child.

I knew that things like this can happen too and I just sat back to see what great movie he would make next. Now I wonder if I've seen my last Mel Gibson movie. The episodes of the past week of his scary behavior made me feel like I was watching a very intense movie. There are always two sides to every story and we've only been privy to these hateful rants. What ever happens, thank you Mel for twenty-five good years.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Greensboro Traffic

I have to admit that the traffic in GSO is tame. I have lived in Raleigh, and drive through most of the metropolitan areas of NC on a regular basis. In Greensboro driving is not that bad..............however there are some areas I would have to nit pick with.

Death Valley, Where the Interstates 40 and 85 meet with Highways 29 and 421. I have gone through this spot for, honestly, fifty years now and it has never changed. Hence its name. The new highway has not helped this area a bit.

Downtown Greensboro, Always has been a confusion of one way streets. The worst part is the area around "Dog Days" and "Green Hill Cemetery". There is traffic coming at you in five different directions. At one spot when the light tells you to go, you better go fast because another light is telling someone else to go too in your direction. Completely survival of the fittest here.

Target Shopping Center on Lawndale, The four way stop here at Steak and Shake is treacherous. I missed the part in driver's Ed that told me what to do in this situation. Same goes for........

Target Shopping Center on New Garden, so many great stores, so few ways out.

Target Shopping Center on Wendover Cars coming at you from all directions.

Wendover from Norwalk Street to west to Penny Road. Your only hope here is to know what lane you are supposed to be in and get really lucky making the lights.

Merging onto 29N from Wendover There is an exit less than fifty feet away on your side, if the traffic is heavy the merging and exiting gets scary.

When Lawndale and Battleground branch off Another spot that has been too confusing for so many years.

And what is the deal with Traffic Circles? Was it necessary to create and confuse every one at N. Elm, Bass Chapel and Lake Jeanette Rds.?

Hill Street at Wendover The light goes from yellow to red in seconds. The site of my first and only Red Light Photo Ticket.

Most McDonald's drive throughs Pity the poor fool who thinks they are getting a great space by the door when the drive through line is behind them. The drive through people will not let you out because to their right is another entrance to will allow a car to come in a easily break in line.

As I said, been to other cities and these annoyances are quite tame.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Inflated Egos

I suppose we are responsible for creating these monsters. You know.....the ones we originally admire until they get totally out of hand. Whether they be actors or sports figures we are the ones who supported them and when they disappoint us we seem to be caught up in the sagas........I have been around for a long time now and certainly know that before all this obsessive media attention the same things were going on........This week our newspapers, internet, magazines and television has had more Lindsey Lohan than we ever wanted to see. It's all so sad as just over five years ago I, for one, enjoyed her movies and saw her as having so much promise. Her downward sprial has been pushed in our faces and into those who really didn't know who she was.....She is certainly will be remembered for years to come.

In the late 30's and early 40's there was a beautiful and talented actress named Frances Farmer. Like Lindsey, her limited movie roles showed the signs of a great actress, as with Lindsey, Frances got caught up in scandal, substance abuse and jail time that her career did not survive. My Mother who was born during this time had never heard of her until the books and movies decades later. She was about five to ten years old at the time. Today as so many parents try to shield their 5 to 10 year olds from Lindsey's antics. To completely shield them, a parent would have to prevent them from ever seeing a newpaper, magazine, television. There could not be any internet time or listening to the radio. I can go on an on.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

TV Sitcom Changes

Steve Carell will leave the office and can it go on? Spin City went on without Michael J. Fox, Charlie's Angel's went on without Farrah, Three's Company went on without Suzanne Sommers We accepted a new Darrin on Bewitched . Woody and Rebecca replacing Coach and Diane on Cheers. Colonel Potter and Capt. Hunnicut replacing Blake and McIntire on M*A*S*H. Yes, The Office will go on as it, as the others, have strong supporting casts. What would have happened to Seinfeld or Friends if one of them had bowed out? The thing that worries me most is will American Idol survive without Simon?

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Guitar Center and Long Horn

I went to the Guitar Center today with my husband, an accomplished guitarist in exchange for a trip to Long Horn. I proclaim to hate the former and he proclaims to hate the latter. However, I think we have been lying to ourselves.......The Guitar Center is loud and as I am accustomed to hearing really good music, the rhythmless banging in there is unbelievable, however, it gives me the opportunity to beat on some drums or strum on a banjo and not care how bad I sound. Almost bought a book "The Dictionary of Rhyming Words for Lyricists". Not a lyricist but thought it would be fun to have........After about a hour we headed to an early dinner at Long Horn......Call me simple but I would rather go there than to Ruth's Chris. He calls LH overpriced but today we spent $50 including a 20% tip. Our last trip to RC with a $75 gift card in hand cost another $50 out of pocket and that did not include the tip........Marriage is full of compromises.