The Telephone

For my entire life I have had the privilege to live in a home with a telephone. I even came along after the party line stage. I did know people who had them. My first memory of the phone was when it rang in the middle of the night when I was four years old, the house lit up and could hear my Mother crying. My grandfather had just died. I suppose there is not a one of us that does not experience a shiver of fear when the telephone brings them out of sleep.

Through my childhood all I remember about that ugly thing with a dial were calls from distant relatives, 30 miles away, the long distance charges I was warned of as my prompt to speak quickly. At this time I recall my Mother for what seemed like hours gabbing with her girlfriends.

I think I was about ten years old when my indifference to the telephone changed. I had my own girlfriends to chat with, and the instruments became sleeker. It became a badge of honor to brag about how long you had talked on the phone. As I entered my teen aged years the ultimate was to have a pink princess phone in your bedroom and to have your own number. You would have a place in the phone book under your parent's name that said "Children's Phone". Never had this but was in total awe of my friends who did. Then came the phenom that would last for years. Calls from boys. I remember the thrill of hearing the voice of your crush and being embarrassed that my entire family witnessed this as there was one phone in the house in the main room.

The ensuing invention of the long cord was a life saver. I could go into a closet, blush and giggle with the boys and have private conversations and, again, giggle with the girls. Next came the "Please Ring"! stage. That's the one where you hope that the next time the phone rings it will be that special someone you couldn't get off your mind. From there the calls were regular from a first or enduring love and all the ones in between where you couldn't bear to hang up.

I then became an adult and the telephone was used for quick chats with family and friends to say hello or plan a meeting. There were job related calls and calls to service providers. Before there was ever a status of Adult ADD, I think I must have had it when it came to the telephone. With the advent of the cordless, I could dust, wash windows but, I am proud to say that I have never been in a bathroom with a phone unless I was cleaning it. I became too busy to sit down and chat. Figured out too, that I would rather see the person than talk to them on the phone. If I couldn't see the face, I would be distracted.

In 1990 I got something that made up for my lack of princess phone or private number. I got a five pound bag phone in my car that hooked up to the cigarette lighter. It was amazing, but I never used it for anything except emergencies. When it got to the point that it was no big deal, what we know as a cell phone debuted. I then lusted over this tiny thing that I could put in my purse and when I got one I still only used it for necessities and never for lengthy conversations. I had to pay additional money for this privilege and resorted to my landline, as I still do for a long conversation, to me, longer than ten minutes.

I don't enjoy having a piece of equipment rest on my face and I really don't enjoy telemarketers. Bless their hearts, know that they are just trying to make a living but the invasion of them fifteen or so years ago has driven me crazy. They called at the worst possible times. Today we have caller ID and can choose to pull a Jerry Seinfeld and play with them. "I'm busy now, give me your home phone number and I'll call you back". Or, we can ignore them completely.

Now I am over the half a century mark. We have a cordless landline and I have a cell phone that fits in my wallet. I can take a picture with it and play Ms.Pac Man, get an acurate time of day and have cool ringtones. I'm now a dinosaur as I don't text, my phone does not allow me to search the internet, give me driving directions, allow me to do my banking or find out the menu of a restaurant before I walk in. I am so tempted but I think I am at my peak with the telephone.