Halloween

Happy Halloween!

I have never been opposed to Halloween, especially when I was a child and my own kids were children. I love the joy this day gives to the little ones and for the past many years, adults as well.

When I was twelve years old in 1966 I was told by more than one home owner on my "Trick or Treat" run that I was getting a bit too old for this, devastated I never did it again. In those days there were no inflatable pumpkins, colored lights or faux cemeteries adorning yards. You were lucky if someone had carved a pumpkin and put a candle in it. I can’t remember ever seeing a single adult dressed up for the occasion. There were no LBJ (the President then) masks and morning news show anchors did not dress up. Of course there were three TV channels and no Internet. We didn’t know what we were missing.

Halloween today is amazing. I think it is the second biggest commercial holiday. The one above it God created. It is a world wide event which puts it ahead of the 4th of July or Thanksgiving. Even though I am a bit of a Halloween scrooge. My decorations are minimal and it has been years since I dressed up. I complain about the cost of candy and don’t necessarily want to answer the door for hours on said day. I do, however, go along with it because I do remember the excitement of my childhood and that of my children because of this special night.

In the past few years I have had one major gripe with the night of tricks and treats. It is not the fact that some trick or treaters shave and don’t say thank-you or carry pillowcases with enough candy to feed the less fortunate in another nation. My problem is with the car riders.

In our neighborhood of almost twenty years, the houses, about fifty of them, are spaced far apart and sit back from the road. When my children were younger they along with either my husband, myself or friends walked to every single house. October 31st’s weather where I live can be delightful, dismal or freezing. It never stopped us. As my kids and the neighborhood kids grew past trick or treating I noticed an influx of children I had never seen come to my door and in the spirit of the holiday went along with it.

Car after car pulls down our driveway and those of my neighbors, unload the kids to get their treats to drive to the next house. In a time where the media tells us there is a epidemic of childhood obesity and of adults as well; I have a problem with this. If you are too lazy to park your car to walk through a development with your children or you, as you should, fear for their safety there are Trunk or Treat opportunities everywhere. No child should go to bed on Halloween night without at least 5,000 calories worth of candy in his or her possession. Please make them walk to get it.

Doing Drugs

As a child of the 70's I knew all about the illegal drug offerings that were abundant then. I heard about the "Trips" and overall euphoria that dabbling in these could offer. I knew respectable people who were arrested for growing marijuana and watched as rock star after rock star plus some acquaintances die of massive overdoses. I heard of heroin addicts who would steal and perhaps kill for that next fix. I had heard of the drug rings and the violence as a result of them. Heck, even Betty Ford stated a REHAB center as a result of her fight with the "legal" ones. Naively, I thought this was all over in the early '80s when I became a wife and mother. Plus, Nancy Reagan told everyone to "Just Say No" to drugs.

In the 90's when I stepped down off the "Perfect Planet" for a minute I realized that illegal drugs had never come close to going away. The addicts were all still there ruining their lives and those around them. The new drugs had names like Crack, Free Basing and people were still doing the ones that had been around for years.

Good news for the junkies.....drugs are not illegal anymore. You can go to the doctor, complain about anything from being depressed, to being fat, or just not feeling good in general and you will get a pill. You can get a really good high from the medications prescribed for just getting a tooth pulled. If your children are rowdy you can get a pill to fix that too for you as well as them. Wonder how horrible it was fifty years ago, when you just said "children will be children".

Today as I leaf through a magazine or watch a TV commercials I see ad after ad about this drug or the other that will cure all that ails all followed by the warnings and side effects you could have by taking said drug. Made me think.....if you are depressed, have chronic pain, make too many trips to the bathroom or experiencing bone loss and take a pill for each problem, what if you experienced all the side effects? Not a pretty picture.

If one drug is legal, it is only fair to legalize the rest.

Going to the Doctor

Funny thing....I used to think that doctors were God-like. I was brought up that way. I can still remember the name of my Grandmother's Doctor when she was my age and I was four years old. He was just admired that much. I vividly remember my pediatrician and the doctors of my parents when they were young. I even married into a family where a 5x7 picture of the family doctor still sits among photos of the family.

There was a point that I was in awe of a contemporary whose parent had achieved this status. Well into my adult life I was shy and awestruck around doctors. My goodness who wouldn't be with all the education they had? I was sure that their every move and decision was infallible. My personal favorite physician was my OB-GYN who I started seeing at eighteen, he delivered my first child and except for the six years I lived out of state was my Doctor until he retired when I was fifty. I loved to talk to him after my checkups, our lives became similar and I trusted his advice. In the early-90's as what I consider the beginning of the prescription drug epidemic, I heard friends talking of pills that helped them lose that extra ten pounds, cured the stress of small children or PMS, I asked my Doctor to get me on board. He told me to buck up and deal with it and never gave me a prescription.

It didn't take me long to realize the value of that advice. Which explains why years later when he wanted to put me on a daily hormone pill, I refused. Just today on the news I learned that I had made a good decision.

Getting off point here, I'll write about drugs later. This story is just about doctors and I had one in Dr. B. This is about what the medical profession has come to. Sure there are the amazing advances we've seen in the past thirty years. People continue to be healed and cured of devastating issues with their health and well being. I applaud the medical profession and their dedication to these advances.

When Dr. B delivered my first child twenty-five years ago it was the beginning of the end of that one special Doctor. Through my pregnancy visits I was seen by several different ones in the practice which was uncomfortable but I know that now it was the beginning of the new norm.

Today, you can possibly have five to ten different doctors because there is not one who can cure all that ails you. You are blessed if any of these doctors can remember you from one visit to the next. I think the "Baby Boomer" generation will be the last to know of the real GP.

I'm not stupid as to think that doctors should go back to making "House Calls". The world is so much bigger than that. My concern is that the medical profession tries to accomplish too much for bigger rewards. Not so much humanely but monetarily.

Right now I have a relative who had a cerebral hemorrhage at aged sixty over fifteen years ago. He has been in a mostly vegetative since. Recently, he has had his foot amputated to get rid of gangrene and they want to do other surgeries. I have to say what is the point to subject him to this other than a doctor wanting to be a hero or to make more money. This man is now 75 years old and there is no way that his quality of life can be improved.

I too think family members can be a little selfish. Let's face it, no one wants to lose a loved one and will go to the ends of the earth to save them from a horrible illness. Who wouldn't go to these measures for a child or anyone under 50?

In a perfect world the sick would not have to suffer and if they chose not to they could opt for a way out. Of course this is only up to God. I, again, am in awe of the medical profession. Just remember you are not Gods. Learn when it is impossible to perform a miracle.

I Love Calling North Carolina Home

Not sure of the exact logistics but I estimate that it would take twelve hours to drive across the state of North Carolina. That is from Manteo to Murphy. If you live where I do, in the Triad/Piedmont, you can easily take a day trip to the mountains or the ocean. Not the furthest most points of course, but you can see them both. And, what sights they are to see.

As it goes for major metropolitan areas those in NC don't come close to being in the top ten in the country. Charlotte is getting there and the Triangle (Raleigh) continues to become the hub of technology and research. We have a professional football team that lately hasn't delivered much. I think there is a hockey team or a basketball team. If so, I'm not aware of their status, thinking that they are not delivering either.

North Carolina is the home of some of the most prestigious universities in the country and their sports programs as well. The fans of these I'm sure are the most competitive and faithful. On any given Fall Saturday or a Winter night you can bet that most North Carolinians are watching the ACC sports offerings or those of the many other great schools.

I as so many complain that the weather in NC sometimes does not give us enough Spring or Fall. It seems we go from boots to flip flops and back again. We are not immune to natural disasters. Everyone in the state can name a hurricane, tornado, ice/snow storm that has touched their lives.

And, the history of NC? How many states can claim that they were one of the original 13 colonies, had Revoluntary and Civil war battles fought on their soil and home of some of the arcitecturial marvels of our time. The Biltmore House and Tryon Palace to name a couple. The genesis of the civil rights movement began in a dime store in this state. North Carolina is the home of tobacco, dogwoods and now has a rapidly growing vineyard and wine industry. Numerous TV shows and Movies are filmed here.

We boast some great people as well. President's Andrews Jackson and Johnson, O'Henry, Edward R. Murrow, Jesse Helms and David Brinkley to name a few. If you Wikepedia them you will be amazed of all the famous musicians, actors and athletes who call NC home other than James Taylor, Andy Griffith and Michael Jordan who you already know about.

NC is not unaffected by the imfamous either. Blanche Taylor Moore and Velma Barfield brought it to everyone's attention that ant poison isn't good for humans either. Jeffrey MacDonald chose to make his mark on history right here in NC. Fritz Klenner too. We are certainly not perfect.

If those of us born and bred here want to venture out... within eight hour drives we can be in DC, Atlanta, Nashville, Charleston, Richmond and Savannah which immediately come to mind as places you don't want to miss. Heck, we can be at the Jersey Shore or Northern Florida in the span of a workday. If we choose to fly, we are closer to Bermuda, Bahamas and Europe than our friends to the west.

There are lots of good reasons to "Like Calling North Carolina Home".

Bullies

The news lately has focused on bullying. Sadly, bullies are not ones who just came on the scene, they have been around for decades, probably centuries. I think everyone who has gone through adolescence has been bullied or, heaven forbid, been a bully. Then there are the fewer than you think that have escaped the bully altogether.

Coming of age in the late sixties one could have been bullied because of weight, the way you dressed, where you lived or the car your parents drove. Then there were issues of coke bottle glasses, bad teeth or acne. Contacts were not an option, rich kids only had braces and was there even a dermatologist then? The pain of being ridiculed relentlessly at school for these issues was as intense as it is now. However, if lucky, you could go home to a loving family, regroup and prepare to face it all again tomorrow.

Yesterday, for instance, if a girl was loose or if a boy was suspected of not really liking girls, we didn't know what Gay was, their actions spread as far as word of mouth. Today, these kids can have a rumor about them circulated to 500 or more within minutes. I don't think that the bullied kid ever considered suicide or actually committed it back then. Or, not that I had ever heard of.

I feel so sad for the children and their families I am currently reading and hearing about who took their own lives as a result of relentless bulling. As I've said, it has been going on forever, we now have the opportunity to hear more about it.

I wish I could have more insight on how to cure this epidemic. I think the bully is like cancer and here to stay. They do follow you into your adult lives but you are so much wiser and more equipped to handle them.

For the Bullied you will grow to be a more compassionate person. The times you have been ostracised led you to discover great things. Everyone will eventually think that you are special. People will cry when you go to heaven.

For the Bully, you will probably face a future of jail time, become an extreme redneck or become very wealthy or famous and will die with no one caring one way or the other as long as they get the money. If you were this mean as a child, I fear you haven't gotten any better.

Now from a parent's standpoint, I don't encourage trying to shield your children from what is going on in the world. They are so much more mature than you were. at an earlier age. They started kindergarten being exposed to a computer, they cannot remember a time when someone didn't have a cell phone. This is the 21st century and how times have changed. Embrace it. Fact is the best people come from homes where there is love and support.

Re-Thinking Christmas Cards

For the past twenty years I have been the one to send a Christmas card to everyone I know. They have included a carefully worded synopsis of our past year plus a glowing family picture. If someone did not get the letter or the picture they certainly got the Hallmark card that I rushed out on December 26th of the previous year to buy at half price.

After over a year on Facebook, I have seen pictures of about 50 percent of my former recipients as they have mine. They not only know of every event of our prior year, but they pretty much know how we spent each day. The 50 percent not included in this group are very elderly, have refused to be on FB or I haven't found them yet.

I'm thinking I spend about $300 a year on the whole Christmas card thing. My cards go to family, extended family, current friends, old friends, and past and present co-workers. I even send cards to people I've never met such as my husband's co-workers. The letters and pictures in themselves used to consist of creating the original of the letter and taking it to a copy place to be printed on the carefully selected Christmas paper. The pictures were an arduous process of using a whole roll of film, developing it and hoping one of them would be the perfect one which meant another trip to the drugstore to have copies made.

Of course today, with my computer, digital camera and laser printer I can do all this at home. We know how much printer ink costs so I am not saving any money but feel that they are much more creative. Then there are the hours addressing the envelopes and placing the stamps on each one. In the past few years I have broken down and used address labels so my hands could be used to write a personal message. It is now to the point where it costs almost a dollar to put stamps on two envelopes.

For the past twenty years my Christmas card list has consisted of 150 or more. About eighty percent of the pictures have been of my children with my husband and I thrown in a few of these years. The letters have consisted of stories of their activities. I pride myself in just sending the Hallmark to those who had never met them.

I have even kept a photo album of each of these pictures. I too, am so anal that I have kept the pictures from friends who like me send one out every year. I do throw out all current Christmas cards before the new year. I am not a clutterer.

Fact is, I have always loved the whole Christmas card process. I used to be the first one to send them out to make sure everyone felt obligated to send us one as well. Now the cards go out much later in the month of December as we/I have become a permanent fixture on everyone's Christmas card list. You send them and they will come back to you.

Now as some of the people I once eagerly awaited the yearly contact are my friends on Facebook and, again, I sometimes know what they had for dinner on any given day, the joy of their vacations and the kids who I once couldn't pick out in a crowd are images are embedded in my mind.

Trying to sort through if this year I should cut my Christmas card list in half, have more money for shopping and wonder if I will miss them. The kids are adult professionals and one is even married. Funny thing is I surely think I would.

Television Sitcoms

Just read a review of the new Fall sitcoms. Not a favorable one saying the selection is the worst in years. I have to disagree not because I have seen any of them enough to form an opinion but because I have lived long enough to see so many sitcoms come and go.

My first sitcom was "I Love Lucy" which is probably in the top ten of the most successful and critically acclaimed of all time. The second one I remember was "The Andy Griffith Show" which has achieved the same status. Of course, I can see one of these episodes any time I want and have been able to for the past fifty years. I sincerely remember watching them as a child.

Then came the others I loved just as much, dissed by the critics but became cultural icons. "The Beverly Hillbillies", "Green Acres", "Gilligan's Island" and "The Brady Bunch". Sure there were those in the mix during this period that achieved a more analytical status "Leave it to Beaver", "My Three Sons" and were deemed to be better. But, hey, we are still watching them.

I suppose the best sitcoms of their time were the ones that tapped into intellects, made us laugh and touched our lives. "M*A*S*H", "All in the Family", "Cheers", "Taxi", "The Cosby Show" and "The Wonder Years" stand out for me. As I look back to when these shows were on that was the comedy I wanted to see and missed out on the fluffier ones.

In my decade of small children it was all about "Full House", "Step By Step", "Family Matters" "Home Improvement", "Growing Pains" "Roseanne" and "Boy Meets World". During this time I completely missed my two favorite sitcoms of all time "Seinfeld" and "Friends". Not to worry, even though I never saw an episode of either while in prime time, I have seen every one of each over and over due to the magic of syndication.

So never fear you fledgling sitcoms. You could become "The Office", "30 Rock", or "Modern Family" of your time. Goes to show that the successful sitcom is only as good as how it fits in with it's public and relevance to the times.

The Social Network

So looked forward to, read some great reviews and finally saw the "The Social Network" today with my Daughter and Daughter-In-Law. These ladies are in their twenties and have been on Facebook for five years now long before I was ever quite sure what it was.

The movie tells the story of the creators of Facebook. I marveled in how brilliant they were academically, socially and being adept in the art of a sale. To have all three of these traits will certainly make one a very wealthy and successful person. To realize that you don't have all three and to know how to network will make you a billionaire. Mark Zukenburg may have not made the most ethical decisions, but, hey, he was a 20 year old college sophomore and what he produced changed so many lives.

Looked up his bio and he is the child of a Psychiatrist and a Dentist. Certainly an upper middle class background. In the movie the twins who claimed that he stole their idea, were always armed with Daddy's lawyers and money. There was never a mention of Zuckenburg's parents. I assumed he was at Harvard only because of his brilliance. He had to borrow money from his roommate to get his business started. Kudos to his parents for raising a son who could be so independent. Or, I wonder if there was no relationship at all which I think is quite sad.

Anyway, I predict numerous awards for the direction, screenplay and acting of "The Social Network". I will totally agree with these accolaides if presented. Plus, the story of a very young billionaire, his creation and those surrounding him is quite a story. Facebook is certainly the medium that defined the last decade.

Pet Peeves

Oh, I have so many but this post will focus on one genre of them. Complaints!

If I haven't seen you in a long time and we have the chance to get together. It's because you are a beloved friend or family member. Don't ruin it for me by bombarding me with stories of your aches and pains, all the medications you are taking, how much your job sucks or what a beast your boss or mother-in-law is. These stories will more than likely not make me want to pencil you in for lunch. And, please do not tell me how old you are and feel. Chances are I am fully aware of your age and I am probably older than you anyway.

Don't get me wrong I am as compassionate as one can be, a really good listener,a most devoted friend and a passionate member of your family. But please warm me up first. Tell me something positive please. A story about your favorite sports team, a great book you just read, the flowers or foods you love or even attack Tiger Woods, Obama or Lindsey Lohan. All comments about these things show me that you enjoy life and keep me interested.

Always remember there is a reason for the terms "Don or Debbie Downer". To all above "I love you" just reinforce for me why I do.

What's Not To Like About October?

Unless you lived through the stock market crash of '29 there aren't too many bad things you can say about the month of October. My goodness America was discovered in October. Sure we've all lost loved ones in this month and had other personal tragedies but overall what's not to like?

.....Around here it is almost never too hot or too cold. It is rare that there is a devistating force of nature.

.....The sky is some kind of brilliant shade of blue. The Harvest Moon can take your breath away.

.....Summer flowers still are hanging in and you can add some colorful mums for unbelievably low prices. Did I mention the vivid color of the trees?

.....All your favorite TV shows are back on a weekly basis.

.....October is the time of the World Series and, of course, there is football.

.....There is always something to do in October. Weekends host festivals of craftsmen and their wares. There is a Fair in almost every town. If you are not attending a sporting event you have ample opportunity to participate in a road race or a bike ride.

.....Until the last day of the month there is not a holiday or disruption in the work week and sometimes this is good.

.....No heating or AC needed so there is a boost to your budget.

.....You have a month to get in shape before the eating binge that begins on Halloween and ends two months later.

.....You can decorate for the season by buying inexpensive pumpkins or ghourds.

Interesting October facts:

January starts of the same day of the week as October, but no other month starts the same day of the week as October in leap years.

October's birthstone is the Opal. The Opal was thought to have the power to predict illness and supposedly the Opal will crack if worn by someone who is not born in October.

October is the major month of awareness and causes:

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

National Downs Syndrome Awareness Month

National Dental Hygiene Month

National Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Awareness Month

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender History Month

World Blindness Awareness Month

Free Though Day - October 12th

Apple Day - October 21st

Again, what's not to like about October?