The Do's and Don'ts of Christmas Cards!

As mentioned in earlier posts I briefly considered not sending out Christmas cards this year or cutting down as so many former recipients are Facebook friends and I have bombarded them with the events of my life this year. However, as I looked at the list I realized that to cut out my FB friends would rob me of Christmas correspondence I have treasured for years, even though I now know what they did yesterday. Alas, all my cards were sent. Three hundred dollars worth (cards and stamps) plus the time and energy to produce them seem to be my lot in life.

Yes, I am a Christmas card snob. I rush to the Hallmark store on December 26th to get the best cards at half off even before I consider going to another sale. Yes, there may cards superior to the Hallmark, just not my taste. I don't care if when you open my card glitter falls out on you as I don't care if it falls out on me.

I would never send a card without a Christmas stamp. That's why the Post Office makes them. My goodness in this day and age December is the highlight of the postal year. Think of all the bills received and paid on line, the junk mail we receive on line and the personal correspondence which was once a card or letter. It scares me that in my life time the Postal Service will become a dinosaur.

Because of my dedication to the Christmas card effort, we get so many. I am thrilled that there are still those who honor this tradition. Love the pictures, letters, and, again a snob, about what the card you picked says about you. Got one this year tied up with a bow, handmade by a master of creating cards, which says "I am so creative". The elaborate ones with the names of the senders embossed in the greeting, which say "You are on my list". Again, the pictures and letters so painstakingly created that tell me that you are happy and so proud of your life. The ones that were purchased at a bargain with a personal note from the sender. They tell me that you love me. I try to include a little of each aspect in my Christmas correspondence.

I applaud those who never fail to send out Christmas cards each year even though it is the busiest of times. I will never again question whether or not I should send out a card.

Gift Wrap

A few years ago I decided that I wanted my Christmas gifts to be unique by their wrappings. As everyone knows the paper, bows and gift cards associated with wrapping a gift can result in a major dent in your holiday budget.

Over thirty years ago when I married, I got a Mother-In-Law who worked for one of the biggest makers of gift wrap around and from that day on me, my own family and so many friends never had to worry about the purchase of all the necessities in wrapping a gift. She has been gone for over two years now and it still rolls in. Can't begin to calculate all the money saved by this.

Of course there were the years when there wasn't an extra minute to meticulously wrap a gift. Santa was visiting our home, full speed ahead, there were Teacher's gifts and in those simpler economic days your extended family were showered as well as every close friend or co-worker. Miraclously for me, this is the time inexpensive gift bags began to show up. You bought the gift, put it in a pretty bag with some tissue and you were done. And, unlike wrap, they were so easy to recycle. No tape involved, no scissors and the to/from card was attached. The wrapping paper sat idle through this time.

Flash forward twenty years.........Santa doesn't come here anymore. Everyone is more cautious about the money they spend, and I have more time to wrap a gift. Plus, I actually enjoy doing it. However, the festive papers began to bore me, I realized that I hated the curly ribbon, could not create a bow even with the simplest instructions and what is with those To/From cards that are too small to write anything on?

I have taken matters into my own hands and think that my ideas will help save money for those who don't get their wrap for free.

1. Turn your paper inside out, this allows you to use the paper you bought for a wedding, baby or birthday gift.

2. You now have a blank slate to create. My Christmas colors are ivory/white and gold so after Christmas each year I snatch up all the discounted gold ribbon which is so easy to tie around a package. I buy a gold "Sharpie" pen and write the person's name right on the finished product. No need to say who it is from because the wrap is so distinctive that they will know.

3. Remember that the "Dollar Tree" is your friend. There are a host of options to help you create a most beautiful and unique gift.

4. On a blank slate you can draw or download a picture to give it a most special touch.

5. You can use all the things in your ribbon drawer to create something so special that what's inside doesn't matter.

Looking forward to seeing your creations.

My Christmas Conundrum

For the past twenty three years I have sent out at least 150 Christmas cards each season. Most have always included a picture of our children and many times the four of us. Of course, they were only sent to close family and friends as I am a firm believer that business associates and casual acquaintances do not want to see your beautiful, smiling family. Think of all the money that has been spent reproducing these treasured family photos to have someone say "Do you know who these people are"?

I, for one, delight in getting a picture each year from my special peeps. I am even so scary that I save them when I am certainly not a saver. I even love to read the Christmas letters which have gotten a totally bad rap through the years. Until a year ago I was one of the ones you got one from. Patting myself on the back here as I always worked to make mine entertaining. They were not a listing of accomplishments or monetary gains. Just a synopsis of our year good and bad.

In this year of 2010 one child is married with a home and life of his own, the other, our baby, is an employed college grad. They will always be ours but is it time to leave them out of the picture and a summary of our lives? Plus, more than half of those on my Christmas card list are my friends on Facebook and as a communications junkie I have shared the past year with all of them through this amazing medium.

The conundrum here is do I save the $300 associated with producing Christmas cards, letters and pictures? Do I only send them to business associates, the elderly and those not on FB? What will they think if they don't get the picture or letter they have received for the past twenty plus years? How will my life change when on December 26th I will not wake up, run to the Hallmark store to get cards at 50% off as I've done for years? And, what picture will I put in my decades old album of Christmas family photos?

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING

Twas the night before Thanksgiving

and all through our pad,

All the creatures were cowering,

as to not make Mom mad.

The casseroles were covered and ready to bake,

beginning to wonder if there will be enough cake.

The turkey is basted in its tray sprayed with Pam,

God bless the one who invented Honey Baked Ham.

The family is coming from places quite near,

wonder which of them will do something goofy this year.

The table is set and the dirty laundry is out of sight,

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night.

Too Much Black?

Just completed my semi-annual closet overhaul. As always, I'm disgusted with myself for forgetting about something I bought last year and the excess of it all. No, I do not have a room of clothes and hundreds of shoes and purses. However, if I had kept every dress, pant, blouse, sweater or accessory I have owned through the years, I'm sure I would qualify.

How many clothes does one person need? A working person should be able to complete two weeks without duplicating and outfit. This does not mean ten pairs of pants, skirts, tops or shoes. It means about half of this, some great accessories and some creativity. Then you will need some special occasion attire, casual wear and workout/lounging gear.

Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be the clothing Nazi here. Lord knows I always have and continue to get a major rush out of shopping for clothes. There have been some very bad decisions and ones that have given me pleasure for so many years. Plus, when my body image isn't working on all cylanders I can do the same with purses and shoes.

Even if you lead a jet set life, attend formal functions three times a week there is really no excuse for having two hundred of anything. If you are fabulousy wealthy you will forget about things just about as quick as you buy them.

Cleaning Out Your Closet

I feel blessed that I have a spacious walk-in closet that I share with my husband. My children are grown and their closets have been turned into Christmas Decoration and Keepsake Center centrals. Sure, in a world I will never live in there are such things as his and her's walk-ins and complete storage rooms that don't involve the attic, basement or garage but this is my life and how I handle it.

First, you, you and your spouse, and children if still at home should spend two weeks a year just purging the home of your clothing and shoes. You will be devoid of clutter and will actually know what you have and what you need. Failure to do this results in an extreme waste of money as your closet may be so crowded you can not remember what you have bought and what you have.

Here are some tips:

1. If you have outgrown something and keep it in hopes of getting to that size again. Realize that when you lose weight you are not going to run to wear old clothes.

2. Admit your mistakes. Everyone loves a sale. I am the first to admit that if something is 75% off I will buy it as far as clothes or shoes go. How much money have you saved if you immediately realize that the clothing is not flattering or the shoes kill your feet.

3. For every piece you buy....before you hang it up... take out a like item that has seen little use.

4. Don't forget to purge your socks and underwear. You have one body and two feet. Do you really think that fifty pairs of socks and panties is resourceful?

5. The only accessories you should keep are jewelry pieces. Real or costume they always seem to come back in style. Purses, wallets, scarves get way more wear and tear. What good is a ratty Prada purse?

I can guarantee that after a huge major closet overhaul you will find some buried treasures.

Election Day 2010

When I was born Dwight Eisenhower was President and he held that office until I was six years old. Of course, had no political views during these years, probably wasn't sure who the President was until about 1959 when that rich, liberal JFK began his journey to office. I really didn't know what rich or liberal was then just going on what I heard from my family.

I liked what I saw from this young President, his beautiful wife, his kids (about the ages of me and my brother) plus, I had never heard until then about a family so large, lived in such wealth and did so many fascinating things. I remember how those around me didn't approve on his stand on segregation plus, although very young,knew of our President and Marilyn Monroe. I was in the third grade when my teacher announced that our President had been assassinated and her telling us that she saw the twinkle of some of our eyes, what was that all about? I remember the events of the next week and my ensuing life became a study of the Kennedy family. If he had lived I think he would have, hands down, been the greatest Democratic President of my life time. No one else has come close.

LBJ, bless his heart, was thrust into office at such a horrible time in our country. Don't need to elaborate on the events that changed the course of history during his span. Still, young and not savvy to the way of the world, I think his greatest accomplishment was Lady Bird and her crusade on anti-littering. I have to say this is my favorite "First Lady" platform of my time.

We got a Republican again in '68 in Richard Nixon. I was old enough to know that if Bobby Kennedy had not been killed, history as we know it would have been changed. Still not up on the political scene in my early teens knew that the adults around me were thrilled about this new President so all was well. That is until 1972.

I missed voting for the first time that year by a few weeks but it would have been for Nixon. That's just what I knew. The next few years showed me how disappointed I could be by a President's actions. Watergate, impeachment and resignation were something new for my generation. Heck we only knew of assassination.

Gerald Ford seemed like a nice enough guy. He fell down a lot, did the best he could but, like Johnson, thrown into the role. His wife too was a asset. How many first ladies have a world renowned rehab center named after them? Not sure, but was this the launch of rehab facilities?

Of course, as history dictates, if one party screws up the trust of the Presidency, it is certain that in the next election the next party will prevail even if they don't have a strong candidate. 1976 and Jimmy Carter. A really good, Christian guy with the best intentions but a President these traits don't make. The next four years were not the most glowing for our country.

Again, this performance brought about a change in command. One that will go down as an extreme highlight of my life. Of course, Ronald Reagan had nothing to do with the birth of my children through his years in office, but his strong command brought about gains and dreams for a strong future. I loved everything about this man, he was not perfect but about as perfect as a President could get. At his re-election I actually ran to the polls to cast the first vote before I went to work. I sincerely thinks he deserves a spot on Mt. Rushmore or a place on a coin or paper bill. Plus, a bonus for me, he was once an actual movie star.

President Reagan was so strong that after eight years in office his predecessor could only be someone of his endorsement. Enter George Bush. Certainly not Ronnie but, again, a great guy and Barbara was every one's Mom and Grandma. He did a quite admirable job but as Americans tend to grow restless he didn't make it to his second term.

I must say I have more respect for Bill Clinton than I did in '92. Back then he was perceived as a Kennedyesque solution to what was ailing the country at the time. Overlooked were his confirmed affairs while a married man and the shady dealings such as White Water. He was handsome, played a mean sax, a baby boomer and his campaign song was one of Fleetwood Mac. His wife didn't sit home and bake cookies. Obviously, he was what so many felt our country needed. Personally, his policies disrupted our once idyllic life. Plus, it was quite difficult to explain to a pre-teen what he and Monica did in the Oval Office. He got through his eight years in spite of all this and when it was over Americans barely were ready for a change.

George W. Bush, as we all know, was the second of a son who followed his Father to the presidency. Agreed, not the sharpest knife in drawer but a good, moral man with great intentions. It wasn't his fault that the most massive attack on American soil took place within nine months of him taking office or that the most devastating hurricane ever ravaged New Orleans a few years later. These events came at a time when we were allowed access to his every action through this miracle of technology we all have at our finger tips. Unfortunately, our county seems to want to blame all their troubles on this one man. He made it through eight years and again voters decided "It was time for change".

We elected our first African-American President who could read the hell out of a teleprompter. To me a true African-American is Condoleeza Rice or Colin Powell, not someone whose Mother is as white as I am. His silvery tongue captivated me in the beginning when my only option was an elderly man with a soon to be rising star running mate. I will forever be an Elephant so I made my choice. The country is in a worse state than I ever remember and after forty years of gains the race card keeps surfacing.

So now the trend is going back to the conservative side. I pray that someone will appear that can actually lead us back to the "Good Old Days".

Halloween

Happy Halloween!

I have never been opposed to Halloween, especially when I was a child and my own kids were children. I love the joy this day gives to the little ones and for the past many years, adults as well.

When I was twelve years old in 1966 I was told by more than one home owner on my "Trick or Treat" run that I was getting a bit too old for this, devastated I never did it again. In those days there were no inflatable pumpkins, colored lights or faux cemeteries adorning yards. You were lucky if someone had carved a pumpkin and put a candle in it. I can’t remember ever seeing a single adult dressed up for the occasion. There were no LBJ (the President then) masks and morning news show anchors did not dress up. Of course there were three TV channels and no Internet. We didn’t know what we were missing.

Halloween today is amazing. I think it is the second biggest commercial holiday. The one above it God created. It is a world wide event which puts it ahead of the 4th of July or Thanksgiving. Even though I am a bit of a Halloween scrooge. My decorations are minimal and it has been years since I dressed up. I complain about the cost of candy and don’t necessarily want to answer the door for hours on said day. I do, however, go along with it because I do remember the excitement of my childhood and that of my children because of this special night.

In the past few years I have had one major gripe with the night of tricks and treats. It is not the fact that some trick or treaters shave and don’t say thank-you or carry pillowcases with enough candy to feed the less fortunate in another nation. My problem is with the car riders.

In our neighborhood of almost twenty years, the houses, about fifty of them, are spaced far apart and sit back from the road. When my children were younger they along with either my husband, myself or friends walked to every single house. October 31st’s weather where I live can be delightful, dismal or freezing. It never stopped us. As my kids and the neighborhood kids grew past trick or treating I noticed an influx of children I had never seen come to my door and in the spirit of the holiday went along with it.

Car after car pulls down our driveway and those of my neighbors, unload the kids to get their treats to drive to the next house. In a time where the media tells us there is a epidemic of childhood obesity and of adults as well; I have a problem with this. If you are too lazy to park your car to walk through a development with your children or you, as you should, fear for their safety there are Trunk or Treat opportunities everywhere. No child should go to bed on Halloween night without at least 5,000 calories worth of candy in his or her possession. Please make them walk to get it.

Doing Drugs

As a child of the 70's I knew all about the illegal drug offerings that were abundant then. I heard about the "Trips" and overall euphoria that dabbling in these could offer. I knew respectable people who were arrested for growing marijuana and watched as rock star after rock star plus some acquaintances die of massive overdoses. I heard of heroin addicts who would steal and perhaps kill for that next fix. I had heard of the drug rings and the violence as a result of them. Heck, even Betty Ford stated a REHAB center as a result of her fight with the "legal" ones. Naively, I thought this was all over in the early '80s when I became a wife and mother. Plus, Nancy Reagan told everyone to "Just Say No" to drugs.

In the 90's when I stepped down off the "Perfect Planet" for a minute I realized that illegal drugs had never come close to going away. The addicts were all still there ruining their lives and those around them. The new drugs had names like Crack, Free Basing and people were still doing the ones that had been around for years.

Good news for the junkies.....drugs are not illegal anymore. You can go to the doctor, complain about anything from being depressed, to being fat, or just not feeling good in general and you will get a pill. You can get a really good high from the medications prescribed for just getting a tooth pulled. If your children are rowdy you can get a pill to fix that too for you as well as them. Wonder how horrible it was fifty years ago, when you just said "children will be children".

Today as I leaf through a magazine or watch a TV commercials I see ad after ad about this drug or the other that will cure all that ails all followed by the warnings and side effects you could have by taking said drug. Made me think.....if you are depressed, have chronic pain, make too many trips to the bathroom or experiencing bone loss and take a pill for each problem, what if you experienced all the side effects? Not a pretty picture.

If one drug is legal, it is only fair to legalize the rest.

Going to the Doctor

Funny thing....I used to think that doctors were God-like. I was brought up that way. I can still remember the name of my Grandmother's Doctor when she was my age and I was four years old. He was just admired that much. I vividly remember my pediatrician and the doctors of my parents when they were young. I even married into a family where a 5x7 picture of the family doctor still sits among photos of the family.

There was a point that I was in awe of a contemporary whose parent had achieved this status. Well into my adult life I was shy and awestruck around doctors. My goodness who wouldn't be with all the education they had? I was sure that their every move and decision was infallible. My personal favorite physician was my OB-GYN who I started seeing at eighteen, he delivered my first child and except for the six years I lived out of state was my Doctor until he retired when I was fifty. I loved to talk to him after my checkups, our lives became similar and I trusted his advice. In the early-90's as what I consider the beginning of the prescription drug epidemic, I heard friends talking of pills that helped them lose that extra ten pounds, cured the stress of small children or PMS, I asked my Doctor to get me on board. He told me to buck up and deal with it and never gave me a prescription.

It didn't take me long to realize the value of that advice. Which explains why years later when he wanted to put me on a daily hormone pill, I refused. Just today on the news I learned that I had made a good decision.

Getting off point here, I'll write about drugs later. This story is just about doctors and I had one in Dr. B. This is about what the medical profession has come to. Sure there are the amazing advances we've seen in the past thirty years. People continue to be healed and cured of devastating issues with their health and well being. I applaud the medical profession and their dedication to these advances.

When Dr. B delivered my first child twenty-five years ago it was the beginning of the end of that one special Doctor. Through my pregnancy visits I was seen by several different ones in the practice which was uncomfortable but I know that now it was the beginning of the new norm.

Today, you can possibly have five to ten different doctors because there is not one who can cure all that ails you. You are blessed if any of these doctors can remember you from one visit to the next. I think the "Baby Boomer" generation will be the last to know of the real GP.

I'm not stupid as to think that doctors should go back to making "House Calls". The world is so much bigger than that. My concern is that the medical profession tries to accomplish too much for bigger rewards. Not so much humanely but monetarily.

Right now I have a relative who had a cerebral hemorrhage at aged sixty over fifteen years ago. He has been in a mostly vegetative since. Recently, he has had his foot amputated to get rid of gangrene and they want to do other surgeries. I have to say what is the point to subject him to this other than a doctor wanting to be a hero or to make more money. This man is now 75 years old and there is no way that his quality of life can be improved.

I too think family members can be a little selfish. Let's face it, no one wants to lose a loved one and will go to the ends of the earth to save them from a horrible illness. Who wouldn't go to these measures for a child or anyone under 50?

In a perfect world the sick would not have to suffer and if they chose not to they could opt for a way out. Of course this is only up to God. I, again, am in awe of the medical profession. Just remember you are not Gods. Learn when it is impossible to perform a miracle.

I Love Calling North Carolina Home

Not sure of the exact logistics but I estimate that it would take twelve hours to drive across the state of North Carolina. That is from Manteo to Murphy. If you live where I do, in the Triad/Piedmont, you can easily take a day trip to the mountains or the ocean. Not the furthest most points of course, but you can see them both. And, what sights they are to see.

As it goes for major metropolitan areas those in NC don't come close to being in the top ten in the country. Charlotte is getting there and the Triangle (Raleigh) continues to become the hub of technology and research. We have a professional football team that lately hasn't delivered much. I think there is a hockey team or a basketball team. If so, I'm not aware of their status, thinking that they are not delivering either.

North Carolina is the home of some of the most prestigious universities in the country and their sports programs as well. The fans of these I'm sure are the most competitive and faithful. On any given Fall Saturday or a Winter night you can bet that most North Carolinians are watching the ACC sports offerings or those of the many other great schools.

I as so many complain that the weather in NC sometimes does not give us enough Spring or Fall. It seems we go from boots to flip flops and back again. We are not immune to natural disasters. Everyone in the state can name a hurricane, tornado, ice/snow storm that has touched their lives.

And, the history of NC? How many states can claim that they were one of the original 13 colonies, had Revoluntary and Civil war battles fought on their soil and home of some of the arcitecturial marvels of our time. The Biltmore House and Tryon Palace to name a couple. The genesis of the civil rights movement began in a dime store in this state. North Carolina is the home of tobacco, dogwoods and now has a rapidly growing vineyard and wine industry. Numerous TV shows and Movies are filmed here.

We boast some great people as well. President's Andrews Jackson and Johnson, O'Henry, Edward R. Murrow, Jesse Helms and David Brinkley to name a few. If you Wikepedia them you will be amazed of all the famous musicians, actors and athletes who call NC home other than James Taylor, Andy Griffith and Michael Jordan who you already know about.

NC is not unaffected by the imfamous either. Blanche Taylor Moore and Velma Barfield brought it to everyone's attention that ant poison isn't good for humans either. Jeffrey MacDonald chose to make his mark on history right here in NC. Fritz Klenner too. We are certainly not perfect.

If those of us born and bred here want to venture out... within eight hour drives we can be in DC, Atlanta, Nashville, Charleston, Richmond and Savannah which immediately come to mind as places you don't want to miss. Heck, we can be at the Jersey Shore or Northern Florida in the span of a workday. If we choose to fly, we are closer to Bermuda, Bahamas and Europe than our friends to the west.

There are lots of good reasons to "Like Calling North Carolina Home".

Bullies

The news lately has focused on bullying. Sadly, bullies are not ones who just came on the scene, they have been around for decades, probably centuries. I think everyone who has gone through adolescence has been bullied or, heaven forbid, been a bully. Then there are the fewer than you think that have escaped the bully altogether.

Coming of age in the late sixties one could have been bullied because of weight, the way you dressed, where you lived or the car your parents drove. Then there were issues of coke bottle glasses, bad teeth or acne. Contacts were not an option, rich kids only had braces and was there even a dermatologist then? The pain of being ridiculed relentlessly at school for these issues was as intense as it is now. However, if lucky, you could go home to a loving family, regroup and prepare to face it all again tomorrow.

Yesterday, for instance, if a girl was loose or if a boy was suspected of not really liking girls, we didn't know what Gay was, their actions spread as far as word of mouth. Today, these kids can have a rumor about them circulated to 500 or more within minutes. I don't think that the bullied kid ever considered suicide or actually committed it back then. Or, not that I had ever heard of.

I feel so sad for the children and their families I am currently reading and hearing about who took their own lives as a result of relentless bulling. As I've said, it has been going on forever, we now have the opportunity to hear more about it.

I wish I could have more insight on how to cure this epidemic. I think the bully is like cancer and here to stay. They do follow you into your adult lives but you are so much wiser and more equipped to handle them.

For the Bullied you will grow to be a more compassionate person. The times you have been ostracised led you to discover great things. Everyone will eventually think that you are special. People will cry when you go to heaven.

For the Bully, you will probably face a future of jail time, become an extreme redneck or become very wealthy or famous and will die with no one caring one way or the other as long as they get the money. If you were this mean as a child, I fear you haven't gotten any better.

Now from a parent's standpoint, I don't encourage trying to shield your children from what is going on in the world. They are so much more mature than you were. at an earlier age. They started kindergarten being exposed to a computer, they cannot remember a time when someone didn't have a cell phone. This is the 21st century and how times have changed. Embrace it. Fact is the best people come from homes where there is love and support.

Re-Thinking Christmas Cards

For the past twenty years I have been the one to send a Christmas card to everyone I know. They have included a carefully worded synopsis of our past year plus a glowing family picture. If someone did not get the letter or the picture they certainly got the Hallmark card that I rushed out on December 26th of the previous year to buy at half price.

After over a year on Facebook, I have seen pictures of about 50 percent of my former recipients as they have mine. They not only know of every event of our prior year, but they pretty much know how we spent each day. The 50 percent not included in this group are very elderly, have refused to be on FB or I haven't found them yet.

I'm thinking I spend about $300 a year on the whole Christmas card thing. My cards go to family, extended family, current friends, old friends, and past and present co-workers. I even send cards to people I've never met such as my husband's co-workers. The letters and pictures in themselves used to consist of creating the original of the letter and taking it to a copy place to be printed on the carefully selected Christmas paper. The pictures were an arduous process of using a whole roll of film, developing it and hoping one of them would be the perfect one which meant another trip to the drugstore to have copies made.

Of course today, with my computer, digital camera and laser printer I can do all this at home. We know how much printer ink costs so I am not saving any money but feel that they are much more creative. Then there are the hours addressing the envelopes and placing the stamps on each one. In the past few years I have broken down and used address labels so my hands could be used to write a personal message. It is now to the point where it costs almost a dollar to put stamps on two envelopes.

For the past twenty years my Christmas card list has consisted of 150 or more. About eighty percent of the pictures have been of my children with my husband and I thrown in a few of these years. The letters have consisted of stories of their activities. I pride myself in just sending the Hallmark to those who had never met them.

I have even kept a photo album of each of these pictures. I too, am so anal that I have kept the pictures from friends who like me send one out every year. I do throw out all current Christmas cards before the new year. I am not a clutterer.

Fact is, I have always loved the whole Christmas card process. I used to be the first one to send them out to make sure everyone felt obligated to send us one as well. Now the cards go out much later in the month of December as we/I have become a permanent fixture on everyone's Christmas card list. You send them and they will come back to you.

Now as some of the people I once eagerly awaited the yearly contact are my friends on Facebook and, again, I sometimes know what they had for dinner on any given day, the joy of their vacations and the kids who I once couldn't pick out in a crowd are images are embedded in my mind.

Trying to sort through if this year I should cut my Christmas card list in half, have more money for shopping and wonder if I will miss them. The kids are adult professionals and one is even married. Funny thing is I surely think I would.

Television Sitcoms

Just read a review of the new Fall sitcoms. Not a favorable one saying the selection is the worst in years. I have to disagree not because I have seen any of them enough to form an opinion but because I have lived long enough to see so many sitcoms come and go.

My first sitcom was "I Love Lucy" which is probably in the top ten of the most successful and critically acclaimed of all time. The second one I remember was "The Andy Griffith Show" which has achieved the same status. Of course, I can see one of these episodes any time I want and have been able to for the past fifty years. I sincerely remember watching them as a child.

Then came the others I loved just as much, dissed by the critics but became cultural icons. "The Beverly Hillbillies", "Green Acres", "Gilligan's Island" and "The Brady Bunch". Sure there were those in the mix during this period that achieved a more analytical status "Leave it to Beaver", "My Three Sons" and were deemed to be better. But, hey, we are still watching them.

I suppose the best sitcoms of their time were the ones that tapped into intellects, made us laugh and touched our lives. "M*A*S*H", "All in the Family", "Cheers", "Taxi", "The Cosby Show" and "The Wonder Years" stand out for me. As I look back to when these shows were on that was the comedy I wanted to see and missed out on the fluffier ones.

In my decade of small children it was all about "Full House", "Step By Step", "Family Matters" "Home Improvement", "Growing Pains" "Roseanne" and "Boy Meets World". During this time I completely missed my two favorite sitcoms of all time "Seinfeld" and "Friends". Not to worry, even though I never saw an episode of either while in prime time, I have seen every one of each over and over due to the magic of syndication.

So never fear you fledgling sitcoms. You could become "The Office", "30 Rock", or "Modern Family" of your time. Goes to show that the successful sitcom is only as good as how it fits in with it's public and relevance to the times.

The Social Network

So looked forward to, read some great reviews and finally saw the "The Social Network" today with my Daughter and Daughter-In-Law. These ladies are in their twenties and have been on Facebook for five years now long before I was ever quite sure what it was.

The movie tells the story of the creators of Facebook. I marveled in how brilliant they were academically, socially and being adept in the art of a sale. To have all three of these traits will certainly make one a very wealthy and successful person. To realize that you don't have all three and to know how to network will make you a billionaire. Mark Zukenburg may have not made the most ethical decisions, but, hey, he was a 20 year old college sophomore and what he produced changed so many lives.

Looked up his bio and he is the child of a Psychiatrist and a Dentist. Certainly an upper middle class background. In the movie the twins who claimed that he stole their idea, were always armed with Daddy's lawyers and money. There was never a mention of Zuckenburg's parents. I assumed he was at Harvard only because of his brilliance. He had to borrow money from his roommate to get his business started. Kudos to his parents for raising a son who could be so independent. Or, I wonder if there was no relationship at all which I think is quite sad.

Anyway, I predict numerous awards for the direction, screenplay and acting of "The Social Network". I will totally agree with these accolaides if presented. Plus, the story of a very young billionaire, his creation and those surrounding him is quite a story. Facebook is certainly the medium that defined the last decade.

Pet Peeves

Oh, I have so many but this post will focus on one genre of them. Complaints!

If I haven't seen you in a long time and we have the chance to get together. It's because you are a beloved friend or family member. Don't ruin it for me by bombarding me with stories of your aches and pains, all the medications you are taking, how much your job sucks or what a beast your boss or mother-in-law is. These stories will more than likely not make me want to pencil you in for lunch. And, please do not tell me how old you are and feel. Chances are I am fully aware of your age and I am probably older than you anyway.

Don't get me wrong I am as compassionate as one can be, a really good listener,a most devoted friend and a passionate member of your family. But please warm me up first. Tell me something positive please. A story about your favorite sports team, a great book you just read, the flowers or foods you love or even attack Tiger Woods, Obama or Lindsey Lohan. All comments about these things show me that you enjoy life and keep me interested.

Always remember there is a reason for the terms "Don or Debbie Downer". To all above "I love you" just reinforce for me why I do.

What's Not To Like About October?

Unless you lived through the stock market crash of '29 there aren't too many bad things you can say about the month of October. My goodness America was discovered in October. Sure we've all lost loved ones in this month and had other personal tragedies but overall what's not to like?

.....Around here it is almost never too hot or too cold. It is rare that there is a devistating force of nature.

.....The sky is some kind of brilliant shade of blue. The Harvest Moon can take your breath away.

.....Summer flowers still are hanging in and you can add some colorful mums for unbelievably low prices. Did I mention the vivid color of the trees?

.....All your favorite TV shows are back on a weekly basis.

.....October is the time of the World Series and, of course, there is football.

.....There is always something to do in October. Weekends host festivals of craftsmen and their wares. There is a Fair in almost every town. If you are not attending a sporting event you have ample opportunity to participate in a road race or a bike ride.

.....Until the last day of the month there is not a holiday or disruption in the work week and sometimes this is good.

.....No heating or AC needed so there is a boost to your budget.

.....You have a month to get in shape before the eating binge that begins on Halloween and ends two months later.

.....You can decorate for the season by buying inexpensive pumpkins or ghourds.

Interesting October facts:

January starts of the same day of the week as October, but no other month starts the same day of the week as October in leap years.

October's birthstone is the Opal. The Opal was thought to have the power to predict illness and supposedly the Opal will crack if worn by someone who is not born in October.

October is the major month of awareness and causes:

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

National Downs Syndrome Awareness Month

National Dental Hygiene Month

National Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Awareness Month

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender History Month

World Blindness Awareness Month

Free Though Day - October 12th

Apple Day - October 21st

Again, what's not to like about October?

Housework

Contrary to popular belief I do not enjoy cleaning my house. I'm not talking about waving a swiffer around and pushing a vacuum cleaner through traffic areas as I handle the chore in the summer. Too many other things to do. Now as I have spent a day alone in my house do I see the signs of neglect.

Sure the toilet bowls have had adequate attention, they do not allow themselves to be overlooked or not in any home I would care to go into. Then, this was the summer of the bed bug epidemic so changing the sheets weekly was not an option. How I hate this chore, extra laundry and the task just bores me.

It is time to pull out the heavy artillery, my Rainbow (just an Oreck in the summer), furniture polish and Comet Cleanser. Cobwebs need to be brought down, fixtures, baseboards need dusting, hardwood and tile floors need more than a vacuum or broom. Light fixtures, decor, plants, window casings, not to mention the glass in them are begging for some special attention. Plus, the mattresses need to be vacuumed, the protectors and those of the pillows must be washed. This is all consuming but it will be done.

Here are few tips to make your deep cleaning a little easier:

1. My late Mother-In-Law referred to her cleaning as a "Lick and a Promise" which describes my summer cleaning. If you don't do this your job will be monumental.

2. Having to try to find the spots to clean because there are mounds of mail, newspapers and magazines covering them makes the job so much harder. Get rid of all these daily. If you don't the task becomes more daunting.

3. Remember that your fridge and washer/dryer are your best friends, they cost a lot of money and they need to be cleaned too. This does not mean throwing out expired food and folding the laundry which I hope you do almost daily. This means cleaning the parts and dusting underneath.

4. You can avoid a totally gross bathtub, shower or toilet bowl by giving them a little attention each day. Squeegee and dry the shower after each use, give the tub a spray of your favorite cleaner after a bath and spritz the toilet bowl with a little Windex each day. It all takes five minutes tops and lets you hold out a bit longer before big cleaning day.

5. Remember that these days most every product you buy has an expiration date on it. More than likely if they don't or have a price tag on them from Zayres, Phar Mor, Kroger or Heckingers....it is a safe bet that you need to throw them out.

Cleaning sucks but it will take about twenty minutes a day to abide by these little hints and life will be so much easier.

Turning 25 and Birthdays

My first born child just turned 25. I can honestly say that my beliefs and outlook on life have changed very little since then. Life only gets better each day.

My 25 year old son is happily married to a woman we adore. When I turned 25 I was happily married to a man my parents adored. My 25 year old and his wife have great careers, have settled into suburbia and their lives together are just starting. When I was 25, we lived in an apartment, had great vision and took baby steps to achieve our goals. As I look at my Son's 25th....."Looks Like We Made It".

I am the biggest birthday person on earth. I have never understood why anyone would want to pass on celebrating their special day or be depressed about their age. I had so many dear friends who did not make it to middle age and, I'm sure, would gladly trade places with those of you who think a birthday signals doom.

I am the one who once carefully purchased a card for your special day and made sure it was in your hands precisely then. I then went on to design a card for your special day. I guess everyone appreciates them, but I have a group of "like family" friends who get these cards and I have never gotten one from them. Sure, they showed up when there was a party involved and their overlooking my day continues to piss me off. But, what can you do about family? Fortunately, my blood relatives...born to or married to always view a birthday as a special event.

Of course, these negligent friends will continue to get their cards as that is just what I do. As I have just completed my first Face book year my friends from every part of my life will get a birthday wish posted on their wall. That's just what I do.

African Violets

When I was kid and would go and visit my Grandmother I would have to follow her around and admire her African Violets. I loved my Nana so I was polite about it and pretended to be interested. My thoughts were "BORING" and "Get a Life".

Nana has been gone for fifteen years and probably had not grown a violet for ten years prior to her passing. As an adult I began to develop the passion she had for gardening and houseplants but I never attempted to grow an African Violet as through all the books I read on the subject deemed them too difficult to nurture.

My own Mother loved them but never had the urge to grow them. My Mother-In-Law, rest her soul, tried and until the day she died; she kept them alive but had never gotten one to bloom. Ironically, I inherited one from her that my Mother had given her as a gift. The leaves were green and hearty but it had never bloomed. I brought it home re-potted it and gave it special attention. Within weeks of her death two years ago it started blooming and hasn't stopped since.

With a new found confidence I purchased another one. It was tiny and cost $2. It has since grown out of two pots and blooms constantly. I then bought some dying ones at Lowes on their clearance rack for 25 cents each, potted them, and again, they are thriving.

I know that Nana and my Mother-In-Law are looking down and saying "You go girl"! When I have grandchildren I plan to make them follow me around and look at my "African Violets".

NC Fall Dreamin'

To the tune of "California Dreamin"

all my grass is brown
and my flowers parched
it has been 90 degrees
for close to seventy days.

it hasn't rained
in over fourteen days
NC Fall dreamin' on such a summer's day.

stopped into a church and began to pray
Lord, don't let us go from flip flops
to snow boots in a single day.

NC Fall dreamin' on such a summer's day.

Fine Dining

Recently went to Ruth's Chris Steak House tonight to celebrate my Son and Brother's 25th and 50th birthdays. It was my Mom's treat and the second time I had eaten there in my life. The first time was for our wedding anniversary only because someone had given us a $75 gift card. We ended up spending up an additional $75 that night and we didn't even have a drink. The food and service were outstanding, but it bothered me that I could feed the two of us for a week with this money.

Guess this statement will deem me as not so sophisticated as so many consider food, the presentation of it and an exquisite taste a must have. But, I do not get why some foods are worth so much more than others. Sure I can taste the difference but not that much, yes, it is nice to never wonder if your glass will be refilled and have your table devoid of any unnecessary crumb or plate. I guess I'm just not a food connoisseur.

Heck yeah, I love to eat but a $10 "Pizza Hut" pizza, Longhorn and Red Lobster are some of my favorite eat out meals. Not to mention a Mexican Restaurant, your pick, or on really special occasions a Japanese restaurant where you can go and spend a most reasonable price and leave full. I know that these lesser establishments will possibly leave you FAT with all the hidden calories in their dishes but, hopefully you will know when to stop even if it means paying for something you cannot eat.

Not so true at the fine dining restaurant. When you pay $35 plus for a piece of meat without a salad or vegetable included in the price you are more than likely going to eat everything put in front of you. Of course, every extra crumb will be placed in a "Doggie Bag", because you paid big bucks for them. Again, the service is phonemial. Your server at a fine dining establishment is always in control and will never have to tell you that they are short staffed or that the Chef came to work drunk, which I have heard in my "Lesser Places".

I have been fortunate enough to dine in some of the finest restaurants in my city and across the country. I even worked in some. Can remember the places and know that the food was good. So why do I remember the taste of an Arby's Super with some Chick Fil A cole slaw? You must be a Redneck if......

Tuesdays

Tuesdays more than not suck. In the work week, you are over the get up and go of Monday and know that there are so many days left until the weekend. In any industry or other profession, things that may have gone wrong in the past week will wait and surface on Tuesday.

Is it because the Greeks deemed Tuesday unlucky as on that day was the "Fall of Constantinople"? In the Spanish speaking world an old proverb translates to "On Tuesday never get married or begin a journey". In both cultures if the 13th of the month falls on Tuesday, it is extremely unlucky. However, in Judaism Tuesday is considered a lucky day as the first chapter of Genesis proclaims that the day as good twice.

Black Tuesday was 10/29/29 thus beginning "The Great Depression". Tuesday is the day for elections in the US. It has been so for Presidential elections since 1845, 1875 for the House of Representatives and 1914 for the Senate. "Super Tuesday" is the day for Presidential primaries.

September 11, 2001 was on a Tuesday.

To help us get through Tuesday in the US and Canada videos and audios are released. However, I can't recall a single favorite TV show that was on Tuesday night. Plus, it is the slowest night of the week for restaurants not to mention other forms of entertainment.

One of the greatest events of my life happened on Tuesday. My Son was born. I suppose that should cancel out my disdain for this day. My most current Tuesday as I look back may have been mild but it was the "T Day". As I turned on the hose to water my flowers, a leak that wasn't there on Monday came to life and completely soaked me. In a collage of pictures hanging on my wall, one falls taking the rest with it. A squirrel decided it was a good day to try to ruin my potted plants.

For me, Tuesday is not the best day of the week.

Plastic Cards

These days your wallet is filled with plastic cards. First, there is the one that keeps you from writing or buying checks. The debt card is the greatest invention of all time. You no longer have to wait in line while the person in front of you writes a check and records that purchase in a register. Unless, of course, that person is over 80. All you have to do is swipe, enter a pin number, keep the receipt and do your on-line banking. So many time wasting steps eliminated by this one card.

Then there are the ones that I first remember as metal plates. You know these, the ones that allow you to purchase anything you want as long as you don't exceed your credit limit. You can have hundreds of these which allow you to shop as if money were not an object. You can take great vacations, remodel your home, borrow cash, wear great clothes and jewelry by using one of these plastic cards. All wonderful things if you can pay the bills in full when they come. If not you are screwed, in just a matter of months you can get into some really big trouble. We all know about this peril now and hopefully before it wasn't too late.

The plastic cards that annoy me most are the smaller ones issued to me by every store I shop in. They are called MVP, VIP, Rewards or whatever catchy name the company comes up with. They give me the opportunity for great savings which I appreciate but how many of these can I carry? I was blessed one day at Bed Bath and Beyond at the check out to purchase a tiny, faux, snakeskin wallet to house these that is attached to my key chain. It now has twenty-five of these cards and unable to hold one more. If you are a man or don't have one of these little gems, what do you do? You fill out the paper work and the cashier puts in your phone number and you get the discounts. In this day and time a discount is welcomed.

9/11/01 - The Day the Earth Stood Still

There are not very many good things I remember about the year 2001. In March of that year I lost my Dad suddenly, he was just 67. In that Spring five of my friends lost their Dad's as well. It was a Spring of funerals and by Summer we were still stunned and recovering from these losses.

As the Summer ended, the weather was beautiful. My Mom didn't cry everyday and we looked forward to the wedding or our best friend's daughter on 9/22. She was the first child born to any of our close friends so life was coming full circle.

On September 11, 2001, I had a great job as a rep with a cosmetics company and on that day I had an appointment forty five miles away from home. Left early, the sky was a brilliant blue and I was listening to my favorite radio morning show when I heard that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I called my husband to tell him what I heard and we deduced that it was some sick joke. Just minutes later and hearing the timbre of the DJ's voice, I knew that this had happened. Horribly, it happened again and again while I was still on the road. I finally stopped at a Wal-Mart and rushed to the TV section to see what was going on. I ended up sitting on the floor there for an hour surrounded by so many doing the same. When I could finally get up I went home, to hell with work! Upon knowing that my loved ones were safe, I knew I was blessed that I did not personally know anyone who perished senselessly that day, but it felt like I did.

As I arrived home, my answering machine held a call from someone telling me how the Seniors should be showcased in an upcoming issue of a HS newsletter which I edited. I was appaulded that this call came at about noon. I never called this lady back. I turned on the TV and proceeded to find anything red, white and blue to decorate my front lawn. In my then 46 years, I had never felt so patriotic and violated. The days that followed were consumed by the images of these violent attacks, the tears of loss, heroics and how this could happen to our great country.

Alas, all of our lives changed forever on September 11, 2001. My great job that took me to some of the most exotic places in the US was soured for me when within days I was sent flags and other props to promote a cologne that happened to have the word "American" in its title and was packaged in red, white and blue. I found this totally tasteless. Ironically, because of these attacks this wonderful position only lasted a few more years. The even better one I got after that had seen its heyday before 9/11. Everything changed.

As a result we can no longer walk our loved ones to an airline boarding gate. We now have to watch our belongings and let our bodies be tampered with before we can go to that gate. We once only feared a plane crash as a result of a mechanical failure, we now know that this is the least of our worries. We lost our innocence, such as it was and began to question everything.

Sure there was the Pearl Harbor attack on what was then a territory of the US. On 9/11 thousands lost their lives in the greatest city on earth by simply getting up on that Tuesday morning and going to work. We will never forget.

Labor Day

I've kind of always known it, but I am now putting Labor Day in my top five list of favorite holidays. I don't think there has ever been a Labor Day weekend that I have been somewhere exotic. However, I can remember so many of them and the good times that came with them.

Labor Day weekend gives so many a day off from work as it was intended. You are not obligated to decorate the house, buy a present or even send a card. This weekend is not even a family event. It is totally all about what you want to do.

You can hang on to summer with the beach, pools, water and amusement parks. You can move into fall, dust off your pom poms and become immersed in football. Just a good all around day with just one problem.......will you wear white pants and shoes tomorrow?

I Love This Time of the Year!

Pollyanna that I am, I can give you so many reasons to love Winter, Spring and Summer. Excellent seasons full of things to give you so much joy. But they do have some faults.

In the Winter you are more than likely to be cold. Sure there are lots of places where you won't feel a chill, but let's just look at the continental US here. A great deal of this area will be plagued with unbelievably frigid temperatures, blinding snowstorms and astronomical heating costs. If you don't have a garage you have to get up a half hour earlier just to put on all the clothing needed to go out and start your car so you can sit in it before you go to work. However, if you love it there is sledding, snowboarding and skiing. You can enjoy some great hot foods and what better TV is there than the Oscars, People's Choice, Grammys, et al? Then there is the Superbowl. Winter has some big ups and some big downs.

In the Spring who doesn't feel good? It's getting warmer and new life is busting out all around you. If you live in place where Spring actually lasts the full three months you are blessed. In NC a typical Spring lasts from about April 15th to May 15th. This gives you about a month to deal with the clothing transition. Believe me more times than not I've worn a coat on April 14th and shorts and a tank top on May 16th. There are those of us who live for the day they can go to the garden center and come home to start digging and there are those who dread the day when it's time to break out the lawnmower. Plus, this is the season that all of your allergies surface. You are starting to recover from heating bills and leftovers from Christmas. Then you start to receive invitations to graduations and weddings and the gifts to buy. In the Spring, weather is volatile. You can get hit by a tornado or driving rains. TV is great. You find out who will win "American Idol" and "Dancing With The Stars". In addition, your favorite shows will deliver some great endings. You are all about NCAA basketball.

I suppose if I conducted a Poll, seventy five percent would pick Summer as their favorite season. Why not? It is vacation time, pool time and flip flop time. It amazes me that so many people, my children included, will pull out the shorts and flip flops long before it is warm enough to actually wear them. People will start to cultivate their tans, through tanning beds, sprays and lotions. No one wants to be lily white in the summer. There is a mass exodus to the ocean, lake or whatever body of water is close by. It is the time to be outdoors with family and friends, the grill is always hot, there is always a baseball game to go to and who doesn't love the fireworks on the 4th of July? However, Summer is unmercifully HOT. I can remember when there was no air conditioning in houses or cars. In the house, you raised the windows and found a tree to sit under outside. Your only relief in the car was to roll down the windows. You always carried a paper fan.....Flash forward fifty years and we can not even imagine a life without AC. The Summer also brings deadly thunder storms and the beginning of hurricane season. It used to be that there was nothing on TV but reruns in the Summer, now, with our nine million channels it is not a concern.

Now to my favorite season. No one loves flowers more than me, but the colors of the trees in fall is breathtaking. The sky becomes a shade of blue that cannot be recreated. The temperatures become crisp and cooler. Extreme weather is almost non-existent. It is back to school time which delights me as I love the smell of a new notebook, sharp pencils, markers, shiny backpacks, bed risers and extra long twin sheets. Plus, with back to school comes football season, from pee-wee to professional, there is nothing like attending a game on a glorious Fall day. The new TV season starts and you start to plan for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sure there are leaves to rake, but how could you not love this season? I love it so much that when my Son got married it was to a woman named Autumn.

Spray Paint

I can't imagine a life without spray paint. I don't think that it was until I was an adult that I knew of it. Since then I'm pretty sure I am one of the ones who kept the manufacturers in business. I have never sprayed graffiti on something I shouldn't have but I have sprayed most everything else.

*You can buy switch plates for less than a dollar and spray them with a textured paint to make them look like something that costs five dollars or more.

*You can revitalize your kitchen by spending over a hundred dollars to replace all the knobs or you can spray them all and they will be different from anyone else's for the cost of a can of paint.

*You can reinvent outdoor furniture each year and make it look like new and something different with a can of spray paint.

*If you are not into sanding, stripping and staining a piece of furniture you can give it a new look with a can of spray paint.

*Need new planters or flower pots? Take what you have and add a couple of coats of spray paint.

*Want to change picture frames or your home's accessories? Make them any color you want with a can of spray paint.

I can go on and on about the virtue's of spray paint. The results don't last forever but it can give your possessions a complete new look for a year or more.

Working Out

As a chubby kid in the 60's my workouts were recess, riding a bike and playing in the woods. I went on to HS fulfilling my gym requirements with no interest in the things I was doing to achieve this goal. It was not until after HS that I became an athlete.

It started with bike rides with my girlfriends that spanned so many miles. In early 1978, a wife for less than a month and living in a new place I decided it was time to run. Prior to this time all required running had relegated me to a last place position. Don't know why this happened, my hero Jim Fixx came later. I started slowly through our apartment complex, probably a half a mile each day. By that Spring I was up to three miles a day.

In the six years that followed I got up in the wee hours of the morning to log in ten miles before I went to work. I was out there when there was snow on the ground. I was addicted. Through these years I ran in a 10K every weekend and actually won races. Running became something other than what I needed to do to something I had to do. Vacations and holidays were never a reason to miss a day. It was like a drug and it did lead to harder drugs. Aerobics classes, Jazzercise and any other way I could pound my twenty something knees and feet to death were just a way of life.

I first became pregnant at age 30, although I kept running through the first months, it became evident that I had to slow down. I credit my being in shape to immediately losing the weight after my first child. Then came a move to a new state and a second child. Running became impossible because I couldn't leave two babies to go out and run. Exercise classes were the answer because there was a nursery and a woman, who is still a dear friend, who I trusted to take care of my kids.

Then came another state to state move just at the beginning of my "Soccer Mom" years. Workouts became harder to achieve but I continued with some regularity. This was only possible because then I was a stay at home Mom. Then as the economy began to tank and our dream of putting these kids through college with no debt did I go back to work. I must say these working years were wonderful and exciting. Wouldn't have changed a thing, but as I stayed in a hotels with a gyms, working out was the last thing I wanted to do. I was relegated to walking through my neighborhood sometimes. Seven or so years ago was the last time I tried to run. On a morning walk through my streets I decided to run with a much younger neighbor to show my stuff. The next morning I fell out of bed as my knees were shot.

What followed was the idea that my running days were over, bad feet and knees, not to mention the lack of time or ambition to do it. Then I was laid off with no job prospects. Fortunately, this did not bring on my doom. I became a "Stay at Home" Mom again to one married and one starting a new career, both college grads and not living in our home. I had the time again.

Started slowly as I was so fat. Weighed more than I did when I was rolled into the hospital to give birth to each of my children. My New Year's resolution 2010 was to again make exercise a way of life. I started on the track at the YMCA and I was humiliated so many times as people 15 to 20 years my senior lapped me. Keep in mind that these people are AARP card carrying senior citizens. Armed with my new Ipod and "shape up" shoes I was determined to make this happen.

It is nine months later and I am hooked again. My feet and knees will prevent me from ever doing a 10K again but if it kills me, I will run a 5K again. Exercise is again something that I miss for even a day. I'm riding a bike again after almost twenty years. It has been years since I have felt as good as I do now. "Baby I Was Born To Run".

Quirks

I know that there are those out there with some very serious quirks which produce dire consequences. Addictions, horrible issues and inner demons to name a few. I am blessed to have none of these but I have some quirks that people would consider not quite normal in the scheme of things......

*I will not eat chicken or turkey but have no problem with a can of sardines.

*I know the birth date of anyone I have ever known. I have account numbers, phone numbers, passwords, etc. stored in my cranial data base but could not begin to tell you the letters and numbers on the license plate of my car.

*I have a horrible fear of the number 13 even though my Daughter, Mother, Brother and Sister-In-Law were born on the 13th day of a month.

*I live in a very musical home but the only songs I know all the words to are "Happy Birthday", "Jesus Loves Me" and "Old Time Rock and Roll".

*I first tasted coffee thirty five years ago and have not touched a drop since.

*I once got 72 sticks of gum in my mouth on a bet.

*I can put my entire fist in my mouth.

*I have never eaten a peanut butter/jelly sandwich.

*I have never eaten any sandwich in which loaf bread was involved.

*I didn't eat tomatoes until adulthood because as a child I heard an Uncle comment that someone was emptying a septic tank and it was full of tomato plants.

*My favorite pair of gym shorts are ones that my 22 year old daughter put in the Goodwill bag when she was 15.

*I was never on an airplane until I was 30 but can't count the times I've been on one since.

*I throw away junk mail and recycle newspapers everyday.

*I will eat a pack of crackers rather than prepare a healthy meal for myself, but I love cooking for crowds.

*I was never an athletic child, but in my twenties ran ten miles a day and won races.

*I would rather visit LA than any tropical paradise.

*I never saw "Friends" when it had its run, but have seen every episode ten times or more since. Same goes for "Seinfeld".

*I don't have a passport.

*I love going to the movies and I wouldn't consider watching one without popcorn, Diet Coke and peanut M&Ms.

*I consider popcorn a meal as I have since childhood.

*I would rather see a six foot black snake in my pantry than a tiny mouse.

*I worry when I break a mirror or a black cat crosses my path. I will never walk under a ladder or open an umbrella in the house.

*I will only use a public or private restroom in extreme emergencies. I once spent a weekend at Girl Scout camp and didn't go at all.

*A year ago I didn't have a Ipod, but now I couldn't survive a day without it.

*I used to have my nose in book, but now listen to them all on audio while alone in my car.

I suppose there are so many others and I know that there are those of you out there who have some of your own. Quirks only make us more interesting.

Cleaning the House

While on Facebook tonight, I read posts from so many FEMALE friends and they were all talking about cleaning the house. I have never had a MALE friend who posted something like that. Why? Because the women still do the cleaning. Is there a male version of the word "maid"?

I know that men clean and do it very well, but when you are married or in a relationship the job falls to the woman. Of course, this is just in my life and, again, I know that there are those "cleaning" men I don't know about. The men I know who clean and do it right are Gay or the extreme metro-sexual. I am not complaining about this at all because I truly think this is the way God separated the sexes. I don't know many women who can change oil in a car or a tire. I truly can't think of another way the sexes are so divided. Men are great chefs and women are great financial planners.

Again, tonight, a friend refered to her two adult sons and how one cleaned like a girl. Cleaning like a girl? Here are a some ways to know if you or ones you love cleans like a girl.

A girl doesn't just dust the furniture, she picks up photo frames and accessory decor and dusts them too.

A girl doesn't just vacuum the high traffic areas. She vacuums under the couch cushions and under anything else.

A girl doesn't clean the lid of the toilet bowl. She goes under the rim.

A girl cleans and shines mirrors.

A girl knows that the refrigerator needs to be periodically cleaned out, washed and wiped.

A girl knows that the same thing goes for the washer/dryer, stove, microwave and dishwasher.

A girl knows that fairies don't change the sheets on the bed. She also knows that mattresses need to be vacuumed and their pads need to be washed.

A girl knows that a pillow doesn't last forever.

A girl knows that food has expiration dates and throws away things before they look disgusting.

A girl knows that dust accumulates on ceiling fans and light fixtures.

A girl will mop the floor before it gets sticky.

A girl knows that "doing laundry" goes beyond putting clothes into the washer and then the dryer.

A girl knows that when you buy something new you should throw something old away.

A girl knows about bleach, fabric softener and dryer sheets.

A girl knows that if you can't see dust, it is there.


A girl cleaner can be both male or female. The "girls" just do it right.

Going to College...1970,1980,1990, 2000 and 2010

Did not start college in either of these years but I did go in the '70's. As we enter the fifth decade since 1970, just wanted to give a little insight on how quickly things change and the remarkable advances we've made in forty years.

In 1970 the rising college co-ed started her classes neatly dressed in a skirt, blouse, hose and loafers. Sure people were wearing jeans and T-shirts then but college dress codes were still implemented. She took notebooks, pens and pencils. Her most sophisticated educational aid was a slide rule. If she was lucky, she had an Instamatic camera but more than likely had one with film that took weeks to process. She possibly had a fridge in her dorm room and maybe, a B&W TV. Her music came from a record player. Turntables were not the norm then.

Since she began her second semester of HS earlier in the year she had seen the debut of "All My Children", the massacre of the McDonald family at Ft. Bragg, NC and the "Beatles" disband. She knew that Apollo 13's oxygen tank exploded, that the US invaded Cambodia and of the horror at Kent State. The president was Richard Nixon and in the summer of 1970 he signed a measure lowering the voting age to eighteen.

"Patton" won the Academy Award in 1970. The top songs were "Bridge Over Troubled Water", James Taylor's "Fire & Rain", "Let It Be" and Black Sabbath's "Paranoid". Top TV shows were "Marcus Welby MD", "Mod Squad" and "Mannix". Our girl of 1970 may have secretly watched the "Brady Bunch". She was excited about the car of the year, the AMC Gremlin. She did not know about "Saturday Night Live". This co-ed is almost 60 years old.

In 1980 the rising college freshman more than likely completely dressed in jeans, but still wore a dress and panty hose on special days. She was armed with a calculator now and had a cassette player or a Sony Walkman. Her camera was more sophisticated but her film still took days to be processed. Her dorm room, if she was lucky, had a color TV that weighed a ton and a microwave.

During her Senior year of HS American Hostages were still held in Iran. Jimmy Carter, the president of her year signed legislation approving a 1.5 million dollar bailout for Chrysler. Israel and Egypt established diplomatic relations and the US boycotted the Moscow Olympics. Ronald Reagan was nominated as a candidate for President.

Pac Man and CNN were launched. The best motion picture of her year was "Kramer Vs Kramer". Her TV shows were "Lou Grant", "Taxi", "Mash" and "Soap". The Broadway musical "Grease" closed making it the longest running musical of all time. Nissan was still Datsun. Eddie Murphy had not yet been on "Saturday Night Live" . This co-ed is almost fifty years old.

In 1990 our girl had "big hair" as perms were all that. When she dressed up there were more than likely shoulder pads involved. Her main outfits consisted of jeans and when she went to football games she dressed for comfort. She could have possibly had a car or bag phone and more than likely came from a home where there was a computer and was somewhat familiar with them. Her camera still had film.

She saw the first African American governor elected in Virginia. Iraq invaded Kuwait and the Gulf War began. The first McDonald's opened in Moscow and the President was George Bush but for most of her life her President was Ronald Reagan.

"Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler was the song of the year. Country music was becoming more mainstream. "Driving Miss Daisy" won the Academy Award this year and her favorite movie was "Pretty Woman". TV consisted of "Cosby", "Cheers", "LA Law" and the "Wonder Years". She knew of Mike Myers and "Wayne's World on SNL. This girl is almost forty.

In 2000, the co-ed survived the new millennium. The way she dressed had no set pattern, but you can bet some of her clothes came from the Gap or Abercrombie & Fitch. She went to school with a desk top computer, color TV, microwave and a cell phone. "You Got Mail" had nothing to do with paper in a mailbox. She may have had a digital camera.

The World Trade Center still stood in New York. She knew exactly what Bill and Monica were doing in the Oval Office. Bill Clinton had been President for most of her life. She knew the next time it would be Bush or Gore. She listened to the saga of Elian Gonzalez and saw the last publication of "Peanuts".

"American Beauty" was the best picture of the year. She probably enjoyed "What Women Want" and "Meet the Parents". Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas dominated the Grammys with "Smooth". Christina Aquilera was voted "Best New Artist" and her fellow Mouseketeer Britney sang "Oops...I Did It Again". She had a portable CD player and not yet heard of an IPOD.

The girl of 2000's TV consisted of "Friends", "ER" and "Sex and the City". "Saturday Night Live" was twenty five years old. She is almost 30.

Today's rising college freshman 2010 has perfect teeth, a style of her own and she loves to show her toned belly. She thinks that panty hose are something her mother wore. As she goes to school she will have a lap top and a microwave. She will more than likely have a device called an I-Something that provides her with a phone, camera, music and access to everything on the Internet which is smaller than her hand.

Her TV can also be carried in one hand, the larger ones will take two. Her favorite TV shows are the reality ones as her choices go far beyond network. Her music is eccletic and spans many tastes. She is the first of all of the above to know Michael as "The Late" Michael Jackson.

"The Blind Side" is a favorite movie and she loves Sandra Bullock for that and the fact she survived a cheating husband. She has seen a lot of great men cheat on their wives this year. She has seen the fall of Tiger.

She has also seen the fall of the World Trade Center, horrific natural disasters and her President is the first of African American descent. She has written few checks if any and her only handwritten correspondence is a Thank You note which is probably printed. She is almost 20 years old.

Can't even image what our girl of 2020 will have. Just hope the advances are as great as they have been.

To Tip or Not to Tip.

In my late teens and early twenties I was a waitress during summers to make money for college and support my husband's continuing education. I loved every position I ever had from steak houses to some very high end restaurants. The money was great and the people I worked with became life long friends.

Never worked so hard in my life but my flair for organization and totally loving to be around people were recognized then. I had what it took. Greensboro in the '70's was the time of ACC Tournaments, The Greater Greensboro Open and the Furniture Market. Events that are still with us, names changed a little in some cases. During this time you knew that there was some tremdous amount of cash to be made and you had to be on your toes. I met so many famous and important people while I was just a girl and prided myself on the service I gave them. My greatest disappoinment during these years was waiting on a golfer and his group while they were at the GGO. I gave them great service, liked them and was sure they liked me. As the evening ended I was rewarded with a $3 tip on a $500 bill. Will not give the full name of the famous golfer, but his first name was Fuzzy.

I even worked in a restaurant in Raleigh on that night in February 1979 when North Carolina got liquor by the drink. The hard work, excitement and the padded pocket book of that night will never be forgotten.

It has been over thirty years since I last waited on a table but have never lost respect for the work that people in restaurants do. I am the first to point out that bad service should not be totally blamed on the person who stands in front of you to take your order. Funny thing that years later in a sales career I faced the same issues when something behind the scenes messed up an order and since I was the only face the customer saw, I took the blame. I have worked in restaurants where the cooks/chefs may have partied too much before coming to work, prep people chose not to come in at all or even fellow servers. However, the show must go on and those who appeared had to work that much harder, many times it was a disaster and others it miraculously fell into place.

Today, as a customer, I am aware of what can go wrong and am much more patient than those dining with me. However, there are things that irritate me: 1. Don't tell me that the chef is drunk or how short staffed you are, say I'm sorry and give me something free as I am being nice. 2. Be pleasant, but unless I ask to hear it, do not tell me your life story when I am enjoying a dinner with family or friends. 3. Be on the ball, keep glasses filled and whisk trash away.

I've heard that in these tough economic times that when people go out to eat they save money by cutting down on the amount of tip they leave. So wrong. These people are hurting too. Another fact is that if paying a bill by credit or debit card and including a tip may result in the restaurant taking part of it to pay for processing fees. Always try to leave a cash tip.

Of course, tipping goes far beyond those who serve you in restaurants. I remember my Mother always giving change to the guy who put groceries in our car. I remember the first time someone told me that they left change in a motel room for the maids after their night's stay. I learned years ago that the person who cut my hair or did my nails deserved extra money when I had just spent a fortune for their services. When I began to business travel I learned that everyone who touched my bag was to get a tip. It has only been in recent years that I realized that the people who delivered furniture and appliances to my home deserved a gratuity when we had just spent a bundle on delivery costs.

Then there are the Christmas gifts. Our newspaper carrier sends us a letter reminding us of his name each year and he gets a gift card as our paper is on our driveway hours before we wake up. Then there are the letter carriers who have to break stride in their routes to bring to the door something we ordered that will not fit in the mailbox. We pay to have our trash picked up and me, the ultimate anti-clutter person creates sometimes a lot more than fits into our alloted can. They all deserve a tip. A gift card at Christmas is such a small thing to do.

All of the above situations are ones where I've slid into the tipping comfort zone. When I order food from a counter, take it to the table and clean up my mess. Why when I sign my purchase receipt is there a spot to add tip? Sure anyone who delivers pizza to your door deserves a tip, but when I pick one up, why am I made to feel like I should tip then too?

Fact is a tip is deserved to those who you feel go far beyond what is expected of them.

Back To School

Just realized today that this is the first August since 1990 that I don't have a child who is going back to school in a couple of weeks. How I miss this. I consider Office Depot and Staples two of my favorite stores and each year when we got our supply lists for the coming year, the kids and I were the first ones in the door. No expense was spared. My children had the very best notebook paper, crayons and pencils money could buy.

After getting bored with summer somewhat we eagerly awaited the notification of who their new teacher would be and what we would have to buy. In the early years there were boxes of tissues, hand soap, crayons, safety scissors and a rest mat. Buying all this was quite a thrill for me but I could not wait to get into the real stuff....notebooks, composition books, rulers and glue sticks. Alas, it came all too quickly and I can honestly say I loved every minute of it. Did not even mention the new shoes and outfits that completed the process, plus, the greatest book bags?

In the middle and HS school years the experience, though still as much fun, the expense of it all mounted. There were many different classes that required the same amount of items for each one. Elementary school times five. Plus, this was the time of the required $129 calculator. I no longer picked out the clothing and shoes as the kids had their own tastes and in these years, there was the beginning of peer presure with apparel desires and price tags far exceeding anything my husband or I bought for ourselves. These were the times of piano, ballet, soccer, karate and all the other passions that had their own costs. We are blessed that we had the resources to be able to give our children these things and I will continue to help those who don't.

While these children were in middle and HS and we were buying all the necessary equipment in the back of our minds loomed college and the real budget buster. For the planners there were dilligent savings plans and for the blessed there were substantial schlorships. We had a little of both and it was going to be ok.

Didn't once in these years think of the extra long twin sheets, bed risers, towels, televisions and computers needed to create our babies' homes away from home. This was addition to the school supplies. College expense goes far past tuition, room and board and books.

Again, we were blessed. Our children were smart and sensitive enough to know of our sacrifices. They paid us back by graduating with honors in just four years and have gone on to become successful adults. There is something to be said about buying school supplies.

Weddings

Although I know that many women will deny this, I think the girls are always a sucker for a wedding. The first weddings I can remember attending were those of my uncles when I was not yet ten years old. Everyone was happy, and the brides looked like to princesses to me. It was not until my late teens that I got to participate in a wedding. It was the wedding of my beloved aunt, eight years older than me, it was 1972 and the man she married is today a special uncle. My bridesmaid's dress was a mint green dotted Swiss and I thought it was so beautiful. So much so that several months later I wore it to my SR prom and it is packed away to this day in my attic.

Then came the weddings of friends and more special dresses. I never came close to "27 Dresses", but I have saved them all. I'm a complete anti-clutter person but these parts of my life are taking up space. Even when I didn't have a main role in a wedding I can remember the the care I took in finding the right dress to cut the cake or register guests.

I remember the weddings of the daughters of our Presidents. Lucy and Lynda. In 1971when Tricia Nixon got married I can hear my then teen aged friends commenting on how their father's wished they could they could give them a wedding like that one. Fact is until seeing these weddings, I thought they were all in churches with a reception in the fellowship hall. A cake, nuts, mints and punch were served and they were all fabulous. My own was even like that. It was not until a friend married a woman from Long Island in the late 70's that I ever went to a wedding with a sit down dinner, a band and alcohol. It was in the late 70's that I first went to an outdoor wedding where the bride had flowers in her hair. I came to realize that wedding options were limitless.

In the getting close to 40 years since my own wedding, I can honestly say that I have attended at least a hundred weddings. Many simple, traditional and lavish, I never left one of them saying "That wedding sucked".

I applaud all the brides for striving to make their wedding days as special as them. Oh sure there were and forever will be, the trends. We've gone from throwing rice (bad for the birds) to bubbles. It has a been a long since I've seen the newlyweds drive away in a car with a "Just Married" sign or tin cans strung along the rear. Can't even remember when I've seen such car in passing. Today exits are much more sophisticated with the limos to carry them the first miles to their wedding night before they jet away to an exotic location. We are so polished now!

In my day (gasp, that makes me sound like a fossil) wedding invitations were purchased from stationery stores. They were engraved in a lavish font and pretty much had the same wording. The names, times and places only changed. You had choices of colors white or ivory. I am proud to say that in 1977 I was one of the first to include my future in-laws names on our invites. Since then the options became more creative and with the advent of the computer the individuality of the bride continued to soar. Through the years I have seen some of the most beautiful and creative invitations, but I still find the old school ones the most elegant.

Wedding dresses continue to be white or ivory for the most part. Today it is unlikely that you will see a bride without a strapless gown or her hair pulled up in a flattering way. In the eighties most brides wore floppy lace hats with long curly hair underneath. I kind of think that the bride styles of the '70's and '90's were not as structured and they were the times of "anything goes". I have never seen a bride who wasn't beautiful.

In our sophisticated times weddings have become certainly more expensive. Think of the days of nuts, mints, cake and punch and how that was fine. Brides and bridesmaid dresses cost less than a hundred dollars. Shoes were dyed to match each dress. In this day shoes do not necessarily need to match and bridesmaids can sometimes pick their own dresses. There are the Bridezillas who demand that their attendants lose weight, get a tan or be at their beckon call through the process.

Destination weddings have become quite the rage in recent years. I do understand that the wedding is about the couple who are about to commit to a life together and doing this in a beautiful and exotic place is enticing. However, I can't image getting married without loved ones who would not have the physical and financial resources to get them there.

I look forward to seeing the wedding trends to come. As my "Friend" Monica once said it...."What little girl does not put and pillowcase on her head and pretend she is a bride"?

The Telephone

For my entire life I have had the privilege to live in a home with a telephone. I even came along after the party line stage. I did know people who had them. My first memory of the phone was when it rang in the middle of the night when I was four years old, the house lit up and could hear my Mother crying. My grandfather had just died. I suppose there is not a one of us that does not experience a shiver of fear when the telephone brings them out of sleep.

Through my childhood all I remember about that ugly thing with a dial were calls from distant relatives, 30 miles away, the long distance charges I was warned of as my prompt to speak quickly. At this time I recall my Mother for what seemed like hours gabbing with her girlfriends.

I think I was about ten years old when my indifference to the telephone changed. I had my own girlfriends to chat with, and the instruments became sleeker. It became a badge of honor to brag about how long you had talked on the phone. As I entered my teen aged years the ultimate was to have a pink princess phone in your bedroom and to have your own number. You would have a place in the phone book under your parent's name that said "Children's Phone". Never had this but was in total awe of my friends who did. Then came the phenom that would last for years. Calls from boys. I remember the thrill of hearing the voice of your crush and being embarrassed that my entire family witnessed this as there was one phone in the house in the main room.

The ensuing invention of the long cord was a life saver. I could go into a closet, blush and giggle with the boys and have private conversations and, again, giggle with the girls. Next came the "Please Ring"! stage. That's the one where you hope that the next time the phone rings it will be that special someone you couldn't get off your mind. From there the calls were regular from a first or enduring love and all the ones in between where you couldn't bear to hang up.

I then became an adult and the telephone was used for quick chats with family and friends to say hello or plan a meeting. There were job related calls and calls to service providers. Before there was ever a status of Adult ADD, I think I must have had it when it came to the telephone. With the advent of the cordless, I could dust, wash windows but, I am proud to say that I have never been in a bathroom with a phone unless I was cleaning it. I became too busy to sit down and chat. Figured out too, that I would rather see the person than talk to them on the phone. If I couldn't see the face, I would be distracted.

In 1990 I got something that made up for my lack of princess phone or private number. I got a five pound bag phone in my car that hooked up to the cigarette lighter. It was amazing, but I never used it for anything except emergencies. When it got to the point that it was no big deal, what we know as a cell phone debuted. I then lusted over this tiny thing that I could put in my purse and when I got one I still only used it for necessities and never for lengthy conversations. I had to pay additional money for this privilege and resorted to my landline, as I still do for a long conversation, to me, longer than ten minutes.

I don't enjoy having a piece of equipment rest on my face and I really don't enjoy telemarketers. Bless their hearts, know that they are just trying to make a living but the invasion of them fifteen or so years ago has driven me crazy. They called at the worst possible times. Today we have caller ID and can choose to pull a Jerry Seinfeld and play with them. "I'm busy now, give me your home phone number and I'll call you back". Or, we can ignore them completely.

Now I am over the half a century mark. We have a cordless landline and I have a cell phone that fits in my wallet. I can take a picture with it and play Ms.Pac Man, get an acurate time of day and have cool ringtones. I'm now a dinosaur as I don't text, my phone does not allow me to search the internet, give me driving directions, allow me to do my banking or find out the menu of a restaurant before I walk in. I am so tempted but I think I am at my peak with the telephone.

The Mail

When was the last time you wrote a letter? The one where you use a pen, paper and a stamp? A letter to tell friends and family about the kids or how hot it is? I am sure I am one of the last to give this up. I am the one who continues to write a Christmas letter to tell about our last year when, now because of Face Book all the people I once sent them too, pretty much know everything I'm doing. It has been well over a decade that that I took a pen and literally wrote a message on a Christmas card.

I love the handwritten messages I get on a Christmas card. I, too love the the pictures of your family and the thought it took to create a computer generated letter. In the past 15 years with my computer I have created some great things and left the handwritting behind. When my best grades were for my penmanship.

I think of my special box in the attic with love letters from my Husband, notes from my Nana and the first card my Dad ever sent me.

I think of the letters written to and saved of my late Mother-In-Law and Grandmother. It is amazing to me that 75 years ago you could write a person's name on a envelope, street address and a city and it would get to them.

I think of the women whose husbands went off to war and their only communication with them was the letter. I thank God that our war brides can now talk to their spouses each day through phone, texting or skype.

I treasure the handwritten notes and hope that they don't become a lost art. If any of my loved ones lived far away I would be thankful to hear their voice, read their words and see their face. In my life time, it cost extra to make a phone call to someone 30 miles away. A letter sent hundreds of miles might have taken two weeks to get there.

I hope that the literal written word will never die, but so happy about all the options I have to stay in touch.