To Color or Not?

I can honestly say that every woman I know has colored her hair at one point in time. My own driver's license states that my hair is blonde when until 15 years ago and 40 years prior my hair was brown. Certainly not a bad brown but, a color from about the age of 19 I felt compelled to change. Nothing ever drastic just some shots of Sun-In here and there. Then one day a blonde friend commented that her hair used to be a "mousy brown" just like mine. First, my color was never mousy but, when my long trusted hairdresser suggested highlights just after this reflection; I jumped on board.

I loved the results. And, the highlights grew to be more intense. However, at a time of children and, that they would one day go to college the cost of the process became entirely too expensive. So, I joined the masses and went to do-it-yourself hair color. This meant stepping away from the time consuming salon process to thirty minutes which made me blonder and blonder. I have no complaints.

My issue is with men and their hair color. It is a proven fact that you all get better with age. Of course, we women, unless in extreme cases, don't have to worry about "Male Pattern Baldness". I certainly know how this issue can upset your vanity and, I understand. However, if you have a full head of hair and it turns grey be it 40, 50 or 60. Believe me, it looks good.

What doesn't look good is for any man in this age group to color their hair in what I now call "Old Man Brown". Is there a product you can buy to achieve this totally unnatural color? Talk about mousy! I know you guys think this is a subtle change as you certainly can't go blonde or really any other color different from the one God gave you. I once saw a old friend who went from brown to grey to jet black. When I ran into him it was hard to look him in the eye much less suppress a laugh.

Then there are my buddies who opted for "Old Man Brown". Believe me, we notice and think "What was he thinking?" Funny thing behind all of them is a woman who thought that would be a good idea. Come on girls.....we are the only ones who can color our hair.

Elizabeth Taylor

I can remember as a child my Mother telling me that Elizabeth Taylor was the most beautiful woman in the world. Of course, those were the days when beautiful women consisted of the ones you knew and ones you could see in movies, magazines or TV. These days, of course, you get to see so many more beautiful women. There are scads of them.

As I watched the footage of Elizabeth's life today there wasn't a single moment of...."I didn't know that", it was all a reflection of what I already knew. I read that if you were born before 1970 you knew everything there was to know about her. I know this is true.

OK, she was like any other child star whose grown up life became fodder for scandal. She married first when just a child. It didn't take and she went on to do it for seven additional times. She was the first Angelina Jole breaking up the marriage of the current "America's Sweethearts". She was even denounced by the Pope for extra marital forays. In the meantime she won Academy Awards, had children who will always adore her and continued to marry everyone from actors to senators to carpenters. I have to think how special she was as a friend. She kept the secrets of Sal Maneo, supported Michael Jackson through his darkest days and when her buddy Rock was exposed by his death from AIDS, she became the disease's biggest crusader.

She built an empire by selling her name, was not afraid of poking fun at herself and every interview she ever did was a humorous delight. Elizabeth (she told Barbara Walters one time that she hated LIZ) had an impressive amount of jewelry and was not afraid to tell anyone about it. Thinking that these jewels could set her children for life. There will be no news stories of her children disputing her will and, I'm pretty sure there will be no long, dark secrets to come out.

Elizabeth wore herself and heart on her sleve. She didn't hide or was ever afraid to expose her problems. She made us feel like we all knew her and, we all found this admirable and respected her. She was truly the most beautiful physically and mentally.

Men and Their Tools

OK girls we all know that men have two brains. One, we hope is chocked full of talent and knowledge. The other talented and kept under control. When your significant other possesses each of these you are very blessed.

I know the following does not apply to all men but, I am going to focus here on a man and his tools. We all know that a man is the last one to ask for directions and the first one who thinks he can fix something. Most times you are delighted with his work when it saves some money. I can't begin to tell you about all the things my own husband has fixed while I sat in awe and amazement of what he accomplished.

But, there is the time to retire guys. Unless, you have a burning desire to paint a room, install new lighting, seed a lawn or change the oil in a car. It's time to turn it over to the pros. Not saying you can no longer do it. When it costs money to buy the tools (more clutter) and you complain about losing your weekend (or many weekends) to complete said task, it's just not fun for anyone.

So to all you guys over 50.......support small businesses and evaluate how much your time is worth. I think you will come out much cheaper by just letting go.

The Royal Wedding

I am not ashamed to admit I am a "Royal Watcher". Of course, I didn't care much about them until Diana came on the scene with a dash of the original "Fergie". Prior to these ladies....I knew the Queen of England was Elizabeth, remember her daughter getting married and, wondered if her homely eldest son would ever find a suitable bride.

The rest is history. I watched as the tabloids pursued this lovely young woman who was seven years my JR as she was set to marry a man a few years my SR. I couldn't get enough of what was going on.

In July 1981 I was on vacation and spent the entire day glued to television coverage of the Royal Wedding. I confess that I didn't think the groom was a catch what so ever except if you had a burning desire to marry the future King of England. I could only hope that this bride knew something I didn't. When I first saw her in her "I AM A VIRGIN" wedding gown, that she was only marrying the future king and much too young to know of the consequences.

I watched her grow into a dynamic and stylish woman. She was the influence that took the monarchy from stuffy to interesting. We watched in delight as she dazzled as a princess and a mother. We all said good riddance when she moved on to another life. We cried when she died.

Now her first born son, who unlike big eared Charles will go on to be the King, is getting married. The world will watch this wedding as they did her own and I have to say that she is looking down with such happiness.

She knows that her son is about to wed a woman she so approves of. One far away from being the innocent, virgin bride. Diana knows that Kate will bring the normalcy she so sought to her son.

A mother of a son biggest wish is that the woman he chooses to marry is someone she can be proud of and that this woman likes her. Diana would have won this one.

What's Wrong With Everyone?

Why is it that a short time after turning 50 everyone feels compelled to let their ailments be the focus of a conversation? Sure by the time anyone turns the big 5-0, they have experienced losses of family and friends. By this point, they should know that people get sick and they die. Some do it much too quickly and others do it for way too long. It happens.....

So why would anyone over 50 want to make anything wrong with them a focus of a social conversation? Let's face it body parts don't look and perform the way they used to but, they are still standing.

Another reason I love FB is that I'm now connected to cousins who lead interesting lives when all I had heard about or from them in years were about physical maladies.

Same goes for the friends you don't ever see. When you face them all....what's wrong with whom has become a bigger conversation starter than the weather.

I suppose it's that way because you can't very well start a chat with a long lost friend or family member with boasts of your success.....Bragging too much.....or, you can't start out with your failures.....Too Pathetic . So what is safe and keeps you away from views or beliefs is the story of what ails you.

Some will sympathise and regale you with their own stories of problems and a great conversation begins. Others will go running when you begin your list of DR related issues and, think that pretty much sums up your life.

In this day when there is a retirement home on every corner it's pretty obvious if you've made it that far, or, better yet, are a SR citizen and you still function in your own home, you've done well. Kind of sucks to hear you have complaints. And, if you are a bit over 50 and well enough to attend any event, just be glad you are there and share details of what you've seen rather than how bad you have it.

Fact is our time on earth is relatively short and focusing on the negative, no matter how bad you have it, takes years off of your life.

More About Weddings

As much as I boast about my computer saavy, I did something yesterday for the first time ever. I found a friend's daughter's gift registry on line when I wasn't told in correspondence where she was registered. OK, my daughter-in-law helped me big time with this one. I had searched all bridal gift registry hot spots and could not find the happy couple. That's when the Wedding Channel.com was suggested and that's where I found my blushing bride.

Until last night every bridal gift I had bought was something on a page printed in a department store. You get the list, check for one in your price range and go find it.....Out of stock? You go find another and on and on. I think for every one... I bought it, took it home, wrapped it and delivered it. It may not have been as thoughtful as I wanted it to be but, it was on the list. I can honestly say that only in recent years that I had a store deliver one.

My current bride, I have not seen in almost 20 years since we moved back to our State from her State. She was my son's first play mate and, her Mom and Dad were our next door neighbors and did such a great job acclimating us to our new home in a far away place. Her brother and my daughter were even born a month apart a couple of years later. Her Mom and I shared miscarriages within days of each other and did not tell each other for a month as not to make the other feel bad.

After six years of knowing this bride and her family we got to go back "Home". I have the Christmas card pictures from each year since we've been gone. She even had a sister I've never met. Her Mom and I have done a wonderful job of keeping each other up to date through these many years. Our letters became emails which went on to be Facebook. I pretty much knew the basics about the bride.

It was not until I shopped on line to buy her a wedding gift did I get to know her tastes. I see so much of her Mother in the things she picked. It was wonderful to be able to choose a gift, though suggested, that I knew she liked and I liked as well. Plus, the stores wrap and deliver!

Thanks again to Al Gore or whoever invented the internet. This wedding gift shopping thing is so cool!

Dear Mr. Squirrel

Dear Mr. Squirrel,

I know you remember me, I'm the one who swerves my car when you stupidly cross my path. I'm the one who loves trees and completely honor your place in them. I know that I'm not that tolerant with your cousins "The Mice". I want them dead on sight. But, you know what rednecks they are. They come in uninvited, help themselves and poop everywhere!

I know it is rare that your family would come inside our home. You might visit the attic if there is ample opening. Loved your brother in "Christmas Vacation", he showed us how bad it could be if WE invaded your habitat.

You guys are not home invaders and, I appreciate that. I know that you think "The Hell with the Birds" when I put out food just for them. You know you are so cool that you can feast on anything in my lawn and there is nothing I can do to stop you. I can't go to "Lowes" or online and find anything that totally eliminates the Squirrel family. I know you all laugh when we put out voodoo methods such as moth balls, Irish Spring soap and cayenne pepper...... Or, we could shoot you. You know that would require having a marksman in every home and an arsenal because, you "Squirrel's" have no concept of birth control.

I have finally reached the boiling point with your Family's arrogance. They have knocked over and broken flower pots making such a mess in the process, dug up more plants than I can remember and, "Do you guys ever take a vacation?". You reek havoc every day of the year........

Today was the last straw. On Monday my mailbox area boasted some beautifully blooming pansies and emerging tulips. I went away for a few days for a minor surgery and, on Friday when I visited the area again your crew had dug up every single thing.

So, Mr. Squirrel be warned. I still may avoid hitting your family when they dance in front of my car simply because I don't want squirrel guts on it. However, if you ever enter the interior of my home you will be shot on the spot or clubbed. I may even hire professionals to eliminate your nests in every tree in our yard. And, believe me when something is invented that will take care of you for good.....I'll be first in line to buy it!

Sincerely,

Going Under

Have you ever had a minor surgery when you have been fortunate enough to never have gone through major ones? I've had a few, universally viewed as, minor ones. Until yesterday, it had been three years since my last little trip to the surgical center. Ironically this procedure was to remove a toe which was supposedly corrected by the event prior.

Each time the doctor explained what would be done, recovery time and their offices contacted me with dates. You prepare for the allotted recovery time and all is well until you get the CALL.

I'm pretty sure anesthesia is the scariest part of any simple surgery or, they do a good job of making it seem that way. I'm sorry guys but, you seem like vultures. You are all extremely pleasant and I know the questions you ask are mandated and required. But, you really need to lighten up..........

Among the many questions I got on my and extended families medical histories, I got some I felt quite bizarre. Does the fact that your Grandmother had diabetes have anything to do with having a toe amputated? Why can you continue to take your prescribed medications or Tylenol when you must give up a fish oil supplement a week prior to surgery?

I was passing all my tests with flying colors until I mentioned that I had a cold/cough and was taking nothing for it. I was instructed on this Thursday to go to an Urgent Care prior to my surgery the following Tuesday to get it cleared up which could only mean being prescribed a drug. But, my "One A Day" was taboo. Plus, can you really go to Urgent Care and have a cold cleared up in four days? After this battery of questions I was convinced that if I went under, I may or may not have been alive on Wednesday. So I chose not to and had a "Local" instead.

Less than 48 hours after my surgery, I sit and write this, have done two loads of laundry and feeling pretty good. Though pretty much a surgery novice I have to wonder how so many choose to have elective ones and not be a little spooked. I also wonder how a emergency surgery is ever performed when the recipient could have possibly had food or drink within six hours prior and could have ingested some Vitamin C, excessive amounts of alcohol or illegal or prescription drugs?

In this day of lawsuits I suppose it is better to be safe than sorry but, again, the anesthesia people need to lighten up.

The Domestic Goddess

Not to toot my own horn here but, the world shuts down when I do. Just had a little foot surgery and was reminded again why I visit the DR as little as possible. "If it's not broke....don't fix it" has always been my motto. Anyway, the badly needed procedure made me realize how much I'm needed around here.

I am certainly not saying that my family don't pull their own weight. I see more than ever that we are all a piece of a really great puzzle and without that piece we are not quite complete.

My piece, I can proudly say, is that of Domestic Goddess. This title includes many subtitles but, this one is about the engineer of the small details.......Prior to my surgery you would have thought I had been given two days to live rather than two weeks recovery.

My house is cleaner than it has been in months, the yard is weeded and mowed, errands are done and the pantry is full of food. Can't say that this is normally the case. Plus, I now have this burning desire to workout and eat better.

So I'm thinking that a little surgery may not be all bad. It gives you about 48 to 72 hours of undivided attention; you are not expected to do anything. You can lay on the sofa, quite medicated, and watch anything you want on TV. YOU control the remote.

If you are lucky...by day three you will be climbing the walls and ready to go back to work because, those other puzzle pieces can't do your job as well as you.

Selling Your House

When you are pre-retirement age and, are blessed, you are beginning to think about where do I go from here? Those "Boomers" who have done very well are either thinking about in what climate they want to spend their remaining years and what kind of house they want to spend them in.

Then, there are the rest of us who have also done very well and realize it is time to do every home improvement we can to make our treasured homes something to be proud of when selling prior to the next place.....be it retirement home, something smaller or the great beyond.

Either way there is a tremendous amount of work to do first......you are going to have to get rid of a lot of stuff. Everyone has stuff. Not talking about finances, involvements and ventures, I'm talking about the little things you chose to keep.

For either group the task can become quite overwhelming. You can't just hire someone to come in and take it all away before you even look at it. First, it must be pretty important for you to have kept it for so long unless, of course, you are a hoarder. We've all seen the shows and very possibly know someone who is one and the task of moving them anywhere requires teams of professionals.

This is about those of us who treasure things and have always made some type of effort to "LET GO". For some reason you have chosen an object so important that it has stayed in your home for decades. Whether it be a collection of things or those with sentimental value; it is time to purge.

One the biggest legacies I hope to leave my children is that when I gone they won't have to clean up after me that much. It's inevitable that they will have to do some but, my hope is that my treasures don't become their trash. I certainly don't expect them to keep it all in a shrine to me. My wish is that the things I've kept at the end bring them joy and a memory. And, I hope that my entire collection of stuff is not saved for their own children.

Remember all this when selling your home.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

My daughter was a speaker at the Society of Toxicology's 50th annual conference yesterday and I was going come hell or high water. Since she is an independent contractor for the EPA her expenses were not paid. Our kitchen has just been remodeled so, discretionary money was pretty much tapped out making a flight or overnight stay out of the question.

So, it was decided that one of our cars make the 600 mile round trip journey beginning in the early morning and ending very late at night. Gas alone would have been close to $150 plus, there would be the potty stops that more often than not cost $10 a pop. You know.....another Diet Coke and munchy stuff. And, let's not forget the wear and tear on the car and its tires.....Then, my so smart husband came up with a brilliant idea.....take a train. All said and done cheaper and we could read, sleep and play on our laptops.


Enter my first ever trip on AMTRAK and what an experience it was.

First, we all know what an ordeal it has become to take a flight. We have to arrive early to begin the process that angers us and lately strips us of our dignity. We should start wearing all forms of ID on a lanyard around our necks for all the times we have to show it. Your baggage is scanned and rifled through. Strange people touch your undies. Heaven forbid if your shampoo is not in the right container.

When you finally get to your seat (talking coach, here) you are instructed to buckle your seat belts, taught where your floatation devices are and forbidden to use your computer or cell phone until instructed to do. Then, when the flight takes off you wait patiently until the flight attendant gets to you with a thimble full of drink and enough pretzels or nuts to make an empty stomach protest. You are in an uncomfortable seat literally rubbing elbows with the person next to you and if nature calls while the food and beverage cart is rolled down the aisle, you just have to wait. To do all this will be quite expensive. The major plus.....you get to your destination quicker.

When riding AMTRAK amazingly no one seems to care who you are. I can't go to a sporting event or even do jury duty without a full security check. However, to catch a train all I need is a ticket. A bit disturbing in the day and age of "No one trusts me". My bag could have contained a handgun, drugs to be smuggled and I could have brought in a cooler full of enough food and drink to sustain me through anything. This was quite shocking.....plus, when I got to said destination I could have stored it all in a locker for a minimal cost.

A plane to a big city would require me to find transportation (costly) to my final destination. My train to Union Station (DC) took me steps away from the Metro.

A coach seat on AMTRAK reclines to a comfortable position, there is a foot rest and you can fully stretch out. The seat widths are so that a normal sized person can sleep on their side without touching their seat mate. The pull down trays adjust to where you want them to be. There were pillows in the seat for our heads. No one greeted us except to take our ticket, there were no takeoff instructions but, we were told of each town we were approaching. Of course, no one offered us free food but, a short, wobbly walk to the dining car gave us snacks at a reasonable price. The bathrooms were even bigger.

On the AMTRAK there is no such thing as one way. There are stops that take minutes, not hours and there is even a suggestion for smokers to get out then and take a "Smoke Break". A window seat is not a premium as you get beautiful panoramic views from wherever you sit.

Of course, AMTRAK is not for the business traveler or someone who needs to get there in a hurry. If your option is to drive 200 plus miles to get to your destination, the train may be for you.